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Why do non-paying members bother posting on-line profiles?


crrogers

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I recently joined Yahoo! on-line personals. When I first joined (i.e., first week or so), I got tons and tons of responses. A lot of the people who e-mailed me were very nice looking, etc., but just weren't my type (i.e., looking for a hook up, etc). However, a lot of times when I would initiate contact with someone whom I found to be a good match, I would notice that they would look at my profile and often never write back. This has happened so many times that I just have to believe that a lot of people just post profiles but don't pay for memberships.... So my questions are:

 

1 - Have any of you posted profiles but not paid for memberships? If so, what is the point? To be honest, it seems a little rude to post something that you can't respond to.

 

2 - Are there ways to tell who does and who does not have a paid profile?

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I know you don't want to smack down your self-esteem, but they just might not be answering you as well. Try a free site like Plentyoffish and see how many women don't answer your emails back, that is unless you look like Brad Pitt or something. If you're an average dude good luck with that. The best looking women on those sites get tons of emails from tons of guys.

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Well, that would make sense if I were writing to people who were great looking but I am just writing to the average-looking people, too....

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First of all, when I was on those sites I got a ton of responses but I ignored about 98% of them because of the dumb and sleezy things guys would write. It may seem like women have a huge selection but by the time I weeded out most of them, that only left one or two. Then those would often go away for one reason or another, or I would decide they weren't right for me.

 

So if I were you, I wouldn't get too hung up on the idea that women get tons of responses because, as I said, the majority of those guys aren't even worth talking to. If someone looks at your profile and doesn't respond back, it's most likely because there are things about your personality or something you've written that doesn't appeal to them. It may be a compatibility thing or may be that you write too much about sex, or something along those lines. Also, if a guy comes across as too high maintenance or too picky, I wouldn't respond to that either.

 

Mostly I was looking for somone I thought I might be compatible with but they were extremely rare. People are on those sites for their own reasons so you never know why people aren't responding. But I don't think looks are as important as a lot of guys think. I'm usually very turned-off by guys who appear vain or overtly sexual. There may be something in your profile that's turning women off.

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I recently joined Yahoo! on-line personals. When I first joined (i.e., first week or so), I got tons and tons of responses. A lot of the people who e-mailed me were very nice looking, etc., but just weren't my type (i.e., looking for a hook up, etc). However, a lot of times when I would initiate contact with someone whom I found to be a good match, I would notice that they would look at my profile and often never write back. This has happened so many times that I just have to believe that a lot of people just post profiles but don't pay for memberships

 

I have a feeling more that these people were not interested in you. I remember filling out a Match profile to see someone else's profile (a friend who wanted me to critique) and I remember receiving emails that said someone sent me a message, but I couldn't see their profile nor the message unless I paid for a subscription.

 

I am more inclined they are paying members, especially if you're a woman messaging men...they just were not interested.

 

1 - Have any of you posted profiles but not paid for memberships? If so, what is the point? To be honest, it seems a little rude to post something that you can't respond to.

Yeah. I did it to look around, but I didn't like the choices I had (plus I was going through some personal issues), so I left it be. However, I did put "just looking around" in my profile, mostly to make it appear I am not a sure bet to contact.

 

2 - Are there ways to tell who does and who does not have a paid profile?

Some sites I heard you can tell if they have no "what I want in a mate" or "my ideal match". Some of them won't let someone fill them out unless they pay.

 

I personally wish they did more. It's a scam to have someone see a site full of people and then find out most of those people are fake profiles, expired/deleted profiles, or unsubscribed profiles. I hate when the sites want you to sign up so you can even do a search, then hide the means to cancel your profile when you see there isn't much on there you would want to message. I also think they should not allow anyone to post a pic unless they have paid.

 

This is a lot of reason why I don't like online dating. You have to worry about how honest the person you're emailing is, as well as struggle to get replies to emails in the first place.

 

I didn't pay for a membership because I didn't need to. If a guy was interested and HE paid for a membership, he would give me his e-mail address in a message. That way I could contact him if I were mutually interested. I had tons of opportunities, but none of them really were my type.

A lot of the sites now parse out emails and even go to extremes to find anything that comes off as a phone number or email and erase it, so the only way you could reply would be as a paying subscriber.

 

I remember some who started off each sentence with a spelled out word of a number, writing sentences to spell out a phone number.

 

Some sites are still cool though. I hear Lavalife will allow any non-paying subscriber to reply to any message received...but they can't send out any initial messages.

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