Relationship Fading -- And I Have No Idea Why

[maynard]

ill try to keep this short and readable, lol

 

quick preface is that i have been dating this girl on and off for the past 7 months. we have been committed and together for past 3 months without incident and has been going great

 

we have admitted our love for each other...i think that happened about 3-4 weeks ago. we starting talking about planning our lives together. she started talking marriage as well at some point in the future

 

but over the past week, things have really fallen off from my perspective.

 

she used to tell me like 2 times a day that she misses me. she hasnt said it in about a week.

 

we got into a small fight the other day. then she starts telling how she doesnt like how i always make all the decisions...how i object to what she wants or seek to modify it

 

so i looked a bit inward and thought that maybe i was being a bit harsh and expecting a bit too much....like i want the girl to worship me or else im not happy. that is partially true, but im not a jerk to her or anything. i just dont want to get stepped on

 

so i decided to buy her some flowers and card that told her how i appreciate her and always want her to be in my life, i love her, etc

 

well she loved the card and flowers, but im not it really effected her very much

 

i still feel like her interest is waning. she still says "i love you" but thats really been it on the sweet talk, where she used to be full of it

 

im not really sure what i can do to get her back to where she was

[Kerewin]

Sounds like the "honeymoon phase" may be ending. Too many people let a good relationship end here too. All those fantasies we have about our partner being "perfect" or "amazing" in the beginning as just that--fantasies. In other words, we "fill-in-the-blanks" with whatever we want to be true about our "perfect" partner. After time--a few months to two years for most people--this phase ALWAYS ends. It sounds like you two have a good relationship, but some issues. Some issues are okay, as long as you work on them. A red flag for me is that you seem to interpret any compromise as getting stepped on. Any good relationship involves compromise, so you should work on that. The flowers and card were nice, but she was asking for some actual changes in behavior. Show her THAT, by letting her choose the restaurant, where you go that weekend, etc. Good Luck!

[halfarock]

Well it’s only been over the last week. Relationships have this characteristic of having highs and lows. Just because everything isn’t going smoothly this week doesn’t mean that it won’t be okay next week. Why would she miss you if you are seeing each other all the time? Just don’t get all pushy about it. Don’t you and she have other things in your lives besides each other? Everything doesn’t have to revolve around her showing you enough affection or not. You might be suffocating her.

[ItIs]

It does look like the initial phase of infatuation is passing.

 

Also, it is often true that a person will get into a big argument when they've become more "settled" and comfortable in a relationship. No longer having to "put on airs."

 

Take it in stride. Whatever you do, don't let your spine turn to jelly or become needy or clingy, because that's about the most unattractive thing a person can do (unless, perhaps, they're on stage with a guitar).