Butterflying Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I've been really good friends with this guy for a while. We are in business together so we spend a lot of time together. He is a true networker and dwells on connections. That is one of the things I admire about him. Recently, he referred a female friend of his to me because she was interested working with my company. I was delighted to speak with her. I gave her as much information as I could and wished her success with getting hired. Later that day, my guy friend and I were having dinner together. He just happned to get a call from the girl. She was upset and insisted the matter was urgent. He politely asked me if I minded him talking to her for a minute. I was okay with it. Then he told her that she should make it quick because he was eating. She immediately began bashing me. She told him that I had been extremely rude to her when she asked about the job. She said I acted snobby and made her feel inferior. She also said that when she mentioned his name (my guy friend), I insisted that he was "my man" and nobody else's. My guy friend was completely surprised. He assured her that she must be mistaken. When he got off the phone with her, he told me everything, although I overheard most of it. He didn't believe her, but I know the situation bothered him. He's been friends with her for a while too. He's wondering why she would lie. I don't know what to do. I think the girl is lying because she likes him more than a friend. I explained this to my guy friend but he didn't agree. So I didn't push the issue any further. I don't like the way this girl is lying about me. Out of respect for his friendship with her, I haven't said anything negative about the girl. But I really don't trust her. The most important thing here is that my guy friend HAS A GIRLFRIEND. There is no need for me and his other female friend to fight over him. But I'm afraid that's what will happen if she continues to lie about me. She is also telling other people that I like him more than a friend. I'm afraid the rumor will get back to his GF, and cause problems for him. I don't know how to handle this. How do I protect my friendship with this guy, and prevent the other girl's lies from destroying it. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 It seems odd that she would bash you if she really wants to work for your company...she's just bashed herself out of any kind of recommendation or good word from you with HR or a hiring manager. In any case, it sounds like you're doing the right thing. Continue to take the high road and don't bash her to him in return. If she's the only one being negative, he'll see that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 It seems odd that she would bash you if she really wants to work for your company...she's just bashed herself out of any kind of recommendation or good word... I think you're right Nora! It did seem very odd. Maybe she didn't think he would say anything to me. After he told me, I thought about going to her and clarifying any misunderstanding. But I didn't because I thought it would stimulate things further. She might get angry with him for telling me, and he would be in the middle. I just want to forget about the whole thing. But it's hard because she calls him a lot. It makes me feel uncomfortable. She says negative things to him like, "Are you hanging out with that snobby b*tch?" He will laugh and tell her she is out of line. But she continues to be this way. So far, I've stopped hanging out with him as friends because I hate being exposed to her negativity. We only get together to discuss business. She obviously hates me. And he is her only connection to me. If I avoid him, I avoid her. That sucks because I'm losing his friendship. I'm afraid to tell him how I feel because he may think I'm jealous of her. This seems soooo complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 If he keeps hanging out with her despite all her mean-spirited words, and he's not doing anything to maintain your friendship and is fine with keeping it solely business...sounds like he's not such a good friend to YOU. Give it time. He might see through her yet. I'd still stick to the high road. There's no reason for you to get dragged down to her level. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 If he keeps hanging out with her despite all her mean-spirited words, and he's not doing anything to maintain your friendship and is fine with keeping it solely business...sounds like he's not such a good friend to YOU. Give it time. He might see through her yet. I'd still stick to the high road. There's no reason for you to get dragged down to her level. Great Advice ! I wonder why he keeps in contact with her as she bad mouths about you in front of him ? She sounds jealous of you. You are a threat to her , for whatever reason.... He needs to tell her to chill. Tell her to not talk bad about you ( if he is really your friend ). Hope he does not like Drama ?? yuck . Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Great Advice ! I wonder why he keeps in contact with her as she bad mouths about you in front of him ? She sounds jealous of you. You are a threat to her , for whatever reason.... He needs to tell her to chill. Tell her to not talk bad about you ( if he is really your friend ). Hope he does not like Drama ?? yuck . Yep, some guys do like Drama...and they like the ego boost of having two women at odds with each other over him. Not saying that's what's going on here, but...who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
mess4u Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Maybe he is connected to her in away that he cant ditch her because some other friend of his might get mad. Is she friends with his GF? She defintly threatened by you do be causing all the Drama. If you were already trying to be nice to her about a job and she started this crap, then if you confronted her she would probly make things worse anyway. I think people should try to get even sometimes though, you didnt deserve this B*tch bashing you in the first place. Do you get alomg with his G.F? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Butterflying Posted July 21, 2006 Author Share Posted July 21, 2006 Thanks yall! I'm really glad you're helping me with this:rolleyes: I haven't met his GF yet beause she lives in a different city. So I don't think Ms. Drama Queen has met his GF either. I've met a few of his other friends. Most of them are females. But all of them were friendly. He's quite popular because of his business. It's normal for us to be having lunch or dinner at a public place and meet people who recognize him. They simply say hello and move on. Or they take a few minutes to meet me and introduce themselves. Actually, that's how Drama Queen discovered me. She saw he and I having lunch together one day. Only, she didn't say hello or introduce herself. We didn't see her. Later she asked him about me. She wanted to know what I did for a living. He told her and she pretended to be interested professionally. Now she's trying to change his opinion of me. Why can't she be more secure like all his other friends? Link to post Share on other sites
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