RedSheep Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I'm net at this forum so go easy on me I've been friends with a woman who was 40 and divorced, we became best friends instantly, we would tell everything to eachother and we still do, we have such a big connection that I can tell her about things that have happened to me that no one knows about. the same situation happens reversed she also tells me things she never told to anyone. It wasn't long before I fell in love with her but didn't realise it, she was healing a broken heart when we met, and I tried to help as much as I could by being there for her and listening to her concerns, last november she met someone with who she slepted with, her point of being with him wasn't to start a relationship it was just for sex as she said it, that relationship ended in December, we had fights over him, which I started, that was the moment she became aware of my feelings for her. After that things changed, but she continued sending me mixed signals it makes me feel at times very frustrated but I understand why she keeps sending those, having a 18 year old after her makes her feel like she still has "it", she knows I love her I have told it to her but she minimizes saying that it is just a crush, we're best friends. I hope that this friendship never dies, I wish it could be more than just a friendship but she would never let it happen just because of the age diference, her daughter is only 6 years older than me, putting our age diference apart we both know we have something we won't ever find. When she meets someone I won't take it hearing her telling me things about them and what they do, but I still want her to be happy, more than I want my happiness I want hers first. Lately we've been having fights because I can't let things go, I can't forget how sometimes it felt when she told me she had slepted with that man in November, even though we're just friends, it felt like a real brutal betrayal, which she lied to cover it up from me, yesterday we had a huge huge argument and she said I was childish because I can't leave the past where it belongs, yet she mentions to me everyday how she can't forget about the man who broke her heart two years ago right before we met. How can I continue a friendship with a person with who I want to be more than just friends? How will I ever be happy when my love for my best friend will keep me from truely loving anyone else? And is it really childish of me not to be able to let it go and leave the past behind? Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 The answer is you can't. You can't be her friend if you want more. She wants to end the relationship where you want to start ( friends ). You will never be happy until you break away from her and find your own life. The age difference is a great hurdle to overcome. There are many girls your age who you can feel the same thing for and you need to let her go so you can find them. Friends never works when one person wants more.... Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedSheep Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 What you say may be right, I don't know. About a month ago I met someone, a bit closer to my age but still not that close, we get along but I just can't forget the one I love. Plus my best friend was mad at me for letting myself get close with this girl I wasn't doing it to make her feel jelouse, and in our fights she would bring her up for no reason, a friend of mine tell me she is jelouse but I still think she isn't, like I said I'm only a friend to her and thats how she sees me. I just can't take her off my mind and she doesn't see that because she's in love with someone else who doesn't even reply to her letters and hasn't talked with her in over two years, I've been helping her through that, but she loves him and always will I think Link to post Share on other sites
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