LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

People aren't happy for you


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Like Tree28Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th October 2017, 7:57 AM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 428
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Well, I do think this is true. When I was experiencing infertility, I got very, very upset when I heard about another one of my friends getting pregnant. My sister, when she was single and everyone was getting married, had a very hard time with all of the engagements.
This is me and I'm very aware of it. My best friend got engaged and I cried. But she text me so I was alone and she never knew. It doesn't mean I'm not happy for her though - I'm over the moon for her. But sometimes, hearing these things sheds an uncomfortable light on things you aren't happy with yourself. That doesn't take away from how happy I am for them. A lot of it has to do with jealousy on my part. Not a very nice thing to admit about yourself. I try my best to overcome it and show I'm happy. But with the same friend, she was upset with how people (her family in particular) had reacted to her engagement. I reminded her that people were happy, but shocked. It came out of nowhere. When you phone someone up and blurt out this unexpected news, it can be hard to convey your happiness sincerely on the spot. She saw my point and has since said that people have been excited, that it was just shock.

This is an area I should probably work on more to be a better friend. Showing how happy I am for them, not just feeling it.
Popsicle likes this.
Tribble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th October 2017, 1:05 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,496
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tribble View Post
This is me and I'm very aware of it. My best friend got engaged and I cried. But she text me so I was alone and she never knew. It doesn't mean I'm not happy for her though - I'm over the moon for her. But sometimes, hearing these things sheds an uncomfortable light on things you aren't happy with yourself. That doesn't take away from how happy I am for them. A lot of it has to do with jealousy on my part. Not a very nice thing to admit about yourself. I try my best to overcome it and show I'm happy. But with the same friend, she was upset with how people (her family in particular) had reacted to her engagement. I reminded her that people were happy, but shocked. It came out of nowhere. When you phone someone up and blurt out this unexpected news, it can be hard to convey your happiness sincerely on the spot. She saw my point and has since said that people have been excited, that it was just shock.

This is an area I should probably work on more to be a better friend. Showing how happy I am for them, not just feeling it.
So why not just say, "Oh, I'm so jealous" and hug, and just be honest about it while acknowledging her accomplishment. She'd understand.
Popsicle likes this.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th October 2017, 3:47 AM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 428
Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
So why not just say, "Oh, I'm so jealous" and hug, and just be honest about it while acknowledging her accomplishment. She'd understand.
Sometimes I do, in a jokey way (although we both know I mean it). But her great news isn't about me and how it makes me feel, it's about her. I don't want to take away her joy by making any of it about me. She already knows that's what I want and I don't need her to try and make me feel any better (because that's just the kind of person she is) when it should all be about her at that point.
Popsicle likes this.
Tribble is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Men letting you go because they know they aren't making you happy rie39 General Relationship Discussion 46 25th August 2017 9:28 AM
When you just aren't happy youngnlove89 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 27 11th July 2013 8:15 PM
'I know we aren't talking but happy birthday'? Samu Coping 1 23rd November 2010 6:44 AM
4 years later..MM left..is nearly divorced..why aren't I happy? Babylove The Other Man / Woman 8 21st May 2009 3:18 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:44 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.