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Issue with friend/bridesmaid

Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 4th August 2017, 12:30 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
LOL she sounds exhausting!!! My sister has an acquaintance like this and she actually had to hide her posts on FB because she was such a Debby Downer. She'd post things like, "it was the perfect day for a baseball game....not a cloud in the sky and no humidity! But of COURSE Junior had to step in a huge mud puddle on the way into the park! UGH!" LOL....some people will just never NOT complain.

I was a bridesmaid 13 times before I got married....and I got married at 23. It was exhausting in every way, especially financially, but I was a recent college grad, not in the situation it sounds like your friend is in. Maybe you should just be thankful she's staying out of it as much as she is.....she could really put a damper on the shower and the bachelorette party if she showed up!

Do any of the other bridesmaids have kids/families?

How does she feel about her body? I've had two kids and I have a friend who is getting married for the first time this fall (age 46) and I told her, "you better not ask me to be a bridesmaid!" I don't want to wear the dress and be in front of a room of people! (She's not having any bridesmaids as it turns out).

Yes! That is exactly how she is! She will find something negative in every single situation! Drives me bonkers because I'm pretty optimistic. She has always been like that but lately, well since she moved, it has gotten a lot worse.

The maid of honor just got married in the spring, the other bridesmaid is married and has 2 kids and the other is going thru a divorce.

As far as I know, she has no body issues. She never has talked about that and she looks good to me. Especially having 3 kids, not overweight or underweight. So it can't be that.
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Old 4th August 2017, 4:00 PM   #17
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startinganew, I'd feel the same way about your depressing bridesmaid as you do in your situation! Although it seems as if she has an awesome life a happy person doesn't behave the way you describe her as behaving!

Not suggesting you do this but in your place I'd be tempted to ask her if she's having second thoughts about being in the wedding and if she answers in the affirmative I might ask her if she'd like to opt out. If she's a popular size someone else may be able to wear her bridesmaid's dress.
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Old 31st August 2017, 2:23 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by startinganew777 View Post
I think next time she texts me to complain about money, I will just tell her to discuss with other BMs as I'm dealing with my own financial stuff paying for this wedding. Other than that, I'm just going to try and let it go. She if she steps up at all. If not, I will know that it is probably time to just let her go. She is so negative all the time and just brings me down. I don't need that in my life.
How much did the bridesmaid dress / gown cost? I'd just send her a check or money order -- something traceable -- for whatever that is along with a note:

"I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulties. I feel just terrible about the extra financial burden you're having to shoulder as my bridesmaid. I feel even worse knowing that you feel obligated to continue doing so, and I just can't do that to a friend. I hope your situation improves soon."

It's your wedding. Why spend a quark of energy even ignoring this girl? I see a ghosting, or a hijacking, or some other nonsense, even if it's "only" her sitting there with a puss on all night.

It's also, FWIW, unfair to the rest of your girls. She shoulda said she couldn't do it from the beginning.
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