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MicroManaging Friend


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 31st July 2017, 6:17 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by anna121 View Post
she sounds like a piece of work. it's a shame you have to engage with her at all.
Thanks, anna121! Seems you "get it!" She is a piece of work, for sure and yet she is dear to me when it's all said and done, it's just that she's out-of-touch with reality and has a history of not working well with others! My pastor's wife told me she'd sent people away in tears when they'd tried to work with her. Don't think she's mean, she just doesn't understand how to work with people.

Anyway, I'm going to address invitations to the party as a way to take the burden off others and the person in charge of the food asked me (without explaining in detail how to do it!lol!) today to bring fruit for chocolate fondue; however, instead of fruit platters I'll make arrangements from the fruit that look like floral arrangements (which I suggested and she was enthusiastic about), with mint stalks for the foliage and figure out other things to make the arrangement special! It'll be fun.

You're really kind to chime in and add to the comfort I needed as my reason for posting. Thank you so very much!
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Last edited by LivingWaterPlease; 31st July 2017 at 6:22 PM..
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Old 2nd August 2017, 1:16 PM   #17
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Update on this thread. Just learned today that another one of the hostesses has also decided not to continue planning to construct a decoration she was assigned to do, due also to being micromanaged by Paisley.

A third hostess told me today she has decided not to have Paisley host a wedding shower for her daughter in a few months because of the same issue, micromanaging. In her words, "It's just too much!"

Thankful for everyone's feedback!
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Old 2nd August 2017, 7:18 PM   #18
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An easy way out would have been to draw up or mock up what you wanted to do, draw or mock up what she wanted you to do, tell her as you were working on it you had some creative ideas and let the group vote on it.


If they were table decorations or something I would think you could do a simple mock up of both and take a picture. When you sent the picture or mock ups, you just say something like...I was working on decorations and had some ideas but Paisley had a great suggestion too, here are the two ways I could go, what does everyone think?


I hate micromanagers and disputing them directly won't get you anywhere. The best way I have found to deal with them, though not foolproof, is to compliment their idea and throw it up for opinions. In this situation it sounds like the group probably would have said your idea sounded classier.
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Old 2nd August 2017, 8:54 PM   #19
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Oh, hell. You must be a saint because I would just get away from this woman.
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Old 2nd August 2017, 11:39 PM   #20
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Have you ever seen the movie "Bridesmaids"? It's really funny.
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Old 3rd August 2017, 1:42 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by ChatroomHero View Post
An easy way out would have been to draw up or mock up what you wanted to do, draw or mock up what she wanted you to do, tell her as you were working on it you had some creative ideas and let the group vote on it.


If they were table decorations or something I would think you could do a simple mock up of both and take a picture. When you sent the picture or mock ups, you just say something like...I was working on decorations and had some ideas but Paisley had a great suggestion too, here are the two ways I could go, what does everyone think?


I hate micromanagers and disputing them directly won't get you anywhere. The best way I have found to deal with them, though not foolproof, is to compliment their idea and throw it up for opinions. In this situation it sounds like the group probably would have said your idea sounded classier.
You have obviously never constructed decorations. There is no "mock up;" you might as well just make the whole thing. And why go to all of this extra trouble? LW was tasked originally with making the decoration because they KNOW her taste and expertise. A good leader trusts the people tasked with something to be good at the task.

I used to sing at weddings and receptions, and believe me when I say I have seen some embarrassingly tacky things. I know the kind of lady to whom LW is referring - they are especially prevalent in Baptist Churches lolol
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Old 3rd August 2017, 5:05 PM   #22
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You have obviously never constructed decorations. There is no "mock up;" you might as well just make the whole thing. And why go to all of this extra trouble? LW was tasked originally with making the decoration because they KNOW her taste and expertise. A good leader trusts the people tasked with something to be good at the task.

I used to sing at weddings and receptions, and believe me when I say I have seen some embarrassingly tacky things. I know the kind of lady to whom LW is referring - they are especially prevalent in Baptist Churches lolol
Oh, knabe, you KNOW what I'm talkin' 'bout! I've thought often during this ordeal of what professional singers have to go through when they work with churches and how people sometimes ask them to sing without taking into consideration what all is entailed in doing it in a way you can be proud of, (or at least not embarrassed by!) e.g.sound, lighting, practicing, etc.

You are so right! There is no mock up involved in decorations for a shower! And the hostesses would laugh out loud if they thought they had to vote on whose idea should be used!
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Old 3rd August 2017, 5:22 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by ChatroomHero View Post
An easy way out would have been to draw up or mock up what you wanted to do, draw or mock up what she wanted you to do, tell her as you were working on it you had some creative ideas and let the group vote on it.


If they were table decorations or something I would think you could do a simple mock up of both and take a picture. When you sent the picture or mock ups, you just say something like...I was working on decorations and had some ideas but Paisley had a great suggestion too, here are the two ways I could go, what does everyone think?


I hate micromanagers and disputing them directly won't get you anywhere. The best way I have found to deal with them, though not foolproof, is to compliment their idea and throw it up for opinions. In this situation it sounds like the group probably would have said your idea sounded classier.
Thanks, Chatroom! As knabe mentioned, there are no mock ups in shower decorations. We're all super busy with our own lives (I work full time and the others are very busy, too) and the whole idea is to do something lovely for the honoree in the nicest way, taking the least amount of time it takes to do so.

All the hostesses are very capable people. No one needs Paisley's help in following through on her (each hostesses) duty.

Paisley is a person who is out of touch with reality in most ways. There is no limit to how inconsiderate she is financially and as to the time others have invested, and every other way for that matter.

We all just want to get it over with and the planning is about done. I will never get involved with her on a project she's in charge of again.

I was supposed to be a hostess on an upcoming shower at her place but the mother of the honoree has decided to throw the party herself as she, along with the rest of us, is pretty much all burned out on working with Paisley.

There was more drama with her today but I didn't let her guilt me into becoming involved in solving it so am feeling great about that!
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Old 3rd August 2017, 5:26 PM   #24
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Oh, hell. You must be a saint because I would just get away from this woman.
I like the way you think, healing! That's pretty much what I've done for a long time but the honoree's family in this instance are my close friends so felt I had to get involved. Will NEVER again!
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