Girl friends?

[FBCoach23]

Can men have friends that are a girl? I will indulge into this a little more. I'm currently going through a tough time on either leaving my marriage or not. Fact i've come to a website to vent probably validates it all, pushing my second foot out the door so to speak.

 

Anyway, me and my wife have had a lot of issues and even separated a couple times. During the couple times i've talked to more people just to chat it up some because we get lonely. A couple of the new conversations were women who i've known since grade school. It started out as hey how you doing, etc and never progressed more than friends. Just someone to talk to and vent to I suppose. Is this wrong? In my wife's eyes when I told her about my new so called friends she said I cheated on her. Is this cheating?

[preraph]

She has no way of knowing what you're up to with these women. Since you're having a bad time anyway, she believes the worst. I would suggest you leave it alone and either stay with her and not have girl friends for awhile or divorce. Leading up to divorce, it is very stupid to be contacting other women. All those texts and calls can be subpoenaed.

[d0nnivain]

You are looking for an emotional affair. Not all opposite gender friendships are wrong or prohibited. But you don't have the purest motives here because according to your other thread you have 1 foot out the door of your marriage & rightly so because your wife is verbally & physically abusive.

 

Stop dithering. Move out. Talk to anybody you. Get a divorce & live happily ever after.

[live2ndin]

Thanks for reaching out and asking the question, to me it shows that you have a feeling that what you are doing isn't the way you think you should be doing things. You mentioned that you had one foot out the door, but I like to think you still have one foot in your home with a good chance to mend things. Could you share with us some of the reasons why you have become unhappy and perhaps we could be of more help to you? I do think you know what is right and that is trying to mend your relationship with your spouse, because that is what you vowed to do when you married and some times we just need a little help to remind us of that. I am hoping for the best for you friend, and that you find a way to have a blessed and fulfilling relationship with your wife.

 

Also, as to the question about whether or not it is cheating to have a "friend" relationship with people of the opposite sex, I think it depends on the boundaries that you and your spouse or significant other have set before hand, which would be a wise way to start.

[alsudduth]

I think your wife is probably grasping at straws if what you say about the conversations is true....however for the time being, she is still your wife, and you must respect the fact that you talking to women in any form is uncomfortable for her.

 

If you have nothing to hide, let her read the messages. I assume she knows you are about ready to divorce, so even if you are talking to your girl friends about your relationship, it shouldn't be a surprise...

 

I will say that in your mind frame right now, having friends who are of the opposite sex is a slippery slope. wait until you are divorced.

[CardinalsGirl]

Disregarding your situation, its very possible for a male and female to be close friends. Its trickier, its harder and the chances of it lasting are far less then a same sex friendship. But it can work and both can really benefit if it does.

 

Usually the problem is one is completely fine with being a friend and the other wants more. Sometimes it happens right off the bat and just simmers throughout the friendship, or sometimes it happens later on.

 

For it two work, boundaries have to be established and as long as neither cross it, I feel its fine.