winny Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 I have been friends with this person for around 6 months. Recently I needed help on a critical matter and he volunteered to help me out. We had a conversation over text on that. A week passed but I did not hear from him. I was feeling anxious because this was an urgent thing with a deadline for which I was seeking his help. I dropped him a text... "hey how was your day" trying to initiate a conversation so that I can ask if he made any progress on the matter. But got no reply. It was getting late so I tried to do things on my own. I dropped him a text saying that "I guess u r busy and this is urgent so I will do it on my own". I got a text back saying - "oh shoot i forgot to remember the appt. i am sorry". I found his text very casual considering how important the situation was for me and felt hurt. I had too many things to do that day and the days following it for making sure that the critical matter at hand is taken care of within deadline. I never got any further texts from him explaining why he forgot or checking if I did okay on my own. I felt very let down since it was him who assured to help voluntarily. So I did not understand why and how he could just forget. Should I write to him about how I felt? Link to post Share on other sites
justanickname Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Hello Winny, I would like to ask what you expect to hear if you write to him? Honestly I don't think he meant to hurt you. But even when he was voluntary to help, it did not meant that you would be his priority for that. What do you think? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SirRamalot Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Well he fcked up big time. A dude suppose 2 b a man of his word. U lose trust if u dont keep your word. Im sry to say this but if u told him whatever the critical situation was n he volunteer to help but didnt come through, maybe he did forgot or maybe it wasnt that important to him. To u i understand it was but as 4 telling u how u feel i say fcked that. He let u down didnt he? Fck him. Idk how ur relationship with this guy is but he aint worth to b hurt over it. Dont b disappointed about it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author winny Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Well he fcked up big time. A dude suppose 2 b a man of his word. U lose trust if u dont keep your word. Im sry to say this but if u told him whatever the critical situation was n he volunteer to help but didnt come through, maybe he did forgot or maybe it wasnt that important to him. To u i understand it was but as 4 telling u how u feel i say fcked that. He let u down didnt he? Fck him. Idk how ur relationship with this guy is but he aint worth to b hurt over it. Dont b disappointed about it Thanks for the response. It was really very critical. And yes even if I continue a friendship how can I ever trust this person and without trust whats there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author winny Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 Hello Winny, I would like to ask what you expect to hear if you write to him? Honestly I don't think he meant to hurt you. But even when he was voluntary to help, it did not meant that you would be his priority for that. What do you think? I was hoping to get an explanation about why he forgot. Not a priority but if u promise to help then u help... its not that complicated.. isnt it... ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 I wouldn't write him, he'll probably come up with a lame excuse anyway. When things like that happen to me I kind of have a "forgive, but don't forget" attitude. Now you know you can't really count on him when you need him. He didn't even bother to check how you did on your own, so treat him like he treats you in the future. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author winny Posted May 1, 2017 Author Share Posted May 1, 2017 I wouldn't write him, he'll probably come up with a lame excuse anyway. When things like that happen to me I kind of have a "forgive, but don't forget" attitude. Now you know you can't really count on him when you need him. He didn't even bother to check how you did on your own, so treat him like he treats you in the future. Agreed. Thank you for confirming.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vareg Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Hello Winny, I would like to ask what you expect to hear if you write to him? Honestly I don't think he meant to hurt you. But even when he was voluntary to help, it did not meant that you would be his priority for that. What do you think? Seems to me at some point this person started to realize you were trying to use him as a friend to have him do what you would not like to do yourself (whatever the reason), and this is not friendship, this is just using someone for free. Also, there is no law that forces anyone to help anyone, this is only fair to say. Link to post Share on other sites
justanickname Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I was hoping to get an explanation about why he forgot. Not a priority but if u promise to help then u help... its not that complicated.. isnt it... ? I see your point. But sometimes, people simply forgot what they said because they don't think that (no matter the person or the thing) is not important to them. And regards to "friendship", I think he might consider you as "acquaintance" only, so that's why. I would agree that "forgive but not forget" to avoid asking him doing any other favour again. Link to post Share on other sites
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