Should I end my friendship with her?

[Angelfirex]

I've been friends with someone for about 9 years, we met at school but never were that close. We drifted for about 3-4 years while she moved away for uni but always stayed in touch. We started hanging out again 2 years ago and ended up being best friends. Here's the problem...

 

She doesn't seem to care about her friends. 'Too close for comfort' sums it up really, Ive always been quite distant friends with her but as a 'best friend' I've seen her true colours. Shes always nice and friendly enough so you'd never think she'd do anything bad, which is why I was friends with her for so long. It's deceiving because I've come to realise she has no empathy and I can't trust her.

2 years ago I got back in touch with an old guy friend who I'd known for years, and we were flirting until I found out my friend was also texting him all the time. This surprised me because I thought things were exclusive between me and the guy, and eventually they started dating. This upset me so much and she knew I liked him. But she 'fell in love' with him even though it was always casual sex and he never made an effort. He was definitely to blame aswell, it wasn't her fault because he messed us both around.

 

So I thought this was a one off, until about a year later (last year) I started talking to another guy after me and my ex broke up - he was the one to start talking to me. Anyway she sort of knew him too as we were in the same group of friends, and all of a sudden she started talking to him all the time, even though they'd never been like that before. He had a girlfriend though who he kept telling me he was unhappy with so I thought they were going to break up (nothing happened between us, he would just flirt with me on text) but I didn't feel right because he was with someone else and would be flirting with me and having 4/5 hour long chats all the time, messaging me every day and night without her knowing.

 

He would do things like go away on holiday with his girlfriend but text me the whole time saying wish you were here instead, then I'd always think he was gonna say he was single and finally ask me out but then he'd post something on social media with his girlfriend which made me realise he'd basically been lying to me and didn't like me enough, so I just told him to not speak to me again.

 

If that wasn't enough, my 'friend' is now best friends with this guy (she has no female friends because they cause too much 'drama') and talks to him all the time, probably flirting because they did when I last saw them in person , and she even went out for dinner with him and got pics with him and his girlfriend on their bed - which may seem platonic, but every time we would be with him he'd have his arms around us and be stroking our arms/legs - it makes my skin crawl now because he was so forward and didn't have any respect for us. I really liked him at the time so I let him get away with it, but it's all so dysfunctional now I look at it from an outside perspective.

 

When I last saw my friend she said she sends him pics of her in low cut dresses because he's her 'dating guru' saying how nice she looks etc. But to me it all just sounds like b***** and she's just being attention seeking and insecure, looking for guys to validate her - especially if other girls like them. For it to happen once is bad enough, but twice? She's done the same thing by flirting with guys that have hurt and disrespected me, but she doesn't care. It just makes me think I can't trust her because if I said I liked someone else, she would do the same thing again. She's probably not going to change.

 

She hardly talks to me as it is but speaks to this guy every day. Even if they are just friends, she constantly posts selfies of herself on social media and is so narcissistic, she never used to be like this but has changed so much. I've had to unfollow her on all social media because seeing her face makes me so angry, she's so self absorbed and obsessed with how she looks. I even told her that I'm not talking to the guy anymore (explaining what he said) but she's gone and posted pics of them 2 on social media saying how much of a laugh they had, and #bestfriends even though he upset me. I'm thinking of telling her all this or just blocking her. Should I end my friendship with her?

Edited April 23, 2017 by Angelfirex
Grammar.

[lovefool96]

She sounds like an absolute cow! I'm sorry but my friends would never do that to me and if they did I would tell them to go F*** themselves!!

 

its is up to you, but please do what is best for you! Good luck Kid!

[darkmoon]

play a prank on her - tell her you like some guy that you do not really like and watch her taking the bait of the prank

 

or just stop telling her who you like, or just drop her

[preraph]

I tell you one thing, I wouldn't want her on my social media mining my friends list. And if stopping being real life friends will stop her, I'd think about it.

[stillafool]

Yes definitely block her and get another friend.

[Aedra]

This is the kind of "friend" I'm absolutely terrified of ever getting to know and waste my time and energy on. Cut this one out of your life as fast as humanely possible. If you want to explain why in detail to her, you can go do that, but only for your own peace of mind.

[Ieris]

Just cut her off, you don't owe her an explanation because she knows exactly what she is doing.

[anynomous34]

WOah, yes cut her off..

Funny thing usually it's the girls who say "i only have guy friends cause girls are drama!" are usually the type to create this sort of tension within their girlfriends over men..

 

She's disrespectful and has a low self esteem... I would stay away from her.. I actually had a friend like that once.. leaving her was the best thing.. i didnt realize how much energy she sucked out of me..

 

Do it for your personal growth.. some people love to tear others down for their validation... walk away... you're doing yourself a favor.

 

Tell them both "Bye!"

[todreaminblue]

I fgured out a long time ago not to talk about my guy too much with female friends....because what happened is the guys they never saw before ...i made them see them...they became interested when i began to date them.....because i would talk about them list the lovely qualities that i knew were theirs...truth is true friends wouldnt go for a guy you are into...its really bad friendship.....i found out the hard way......i thought these friends would be excited for me to be happy...like i would be for them.....but they werent like me and i found out that some guys who are really really nice...can in actual fact still be cheaters

 

and i lost friends and boyfriends....but....looking back it was fro the best...they did me a favor.....im no longer friends with them i dont hold any grudges and i have learned what friendship means to me...it means having people in your life who are happy when you tell them about how wonderful your guy is...... and i know that if a guy could go there with a supposed friend of mine he isnt the guy for me......i dont need that type of guy.....and i have dumped guys for that reason...time wasters....

 

you need a guy who cant be swayed you need friends who appreciate you and want your happiness......the more you lose that arent like this, the more time you will have to find friends and boyfriends who are right for you...take it as a blessing...an eye opener...and dont give up for others keep moving forward...its brighter down the road.....head there.....

 

maybe ill meet you on a cross roads soemwhere ...we can have tea and talk all we want to......:0)..and ill be happy to hear you have found what you are lookign for ......and maybe ...just maybe...i would be have found the guy i see wonderful in and can speak of it and not be concerned to come back from holidays and find my friend in my bed with him wearing my clothes.......i have friends who are not like the ones i gave up...and the difference i feel......is beautiful ...because they are like me and would never do that......dont give up......best wishes...deb

Edited April 29, 2017 by todreaminblue