Feelings for close friend

[GGZ]

Dear Loveshack users,

 

I hope my post today finds you well. I am not a regular user but I come back once in a while to this forum to read posts and follow threads regarding relationships and people in general. I may make mistakes while writing this post (English is not my first language). I would like to share something with you (I really can't keep this to myself). Thank you for reading my story. I do apologize for the long post.

 

My story is similar to that of many others threads I have come across on this forum regarding platonic friends and friendships. I read previous threads, but I feel I still would like to post my story and hear your thoughts on this...

 

I have met a young woman (we are both in our mid-twenties (I am 27, she is 24), and for the past year, we have bonded and studied together in law school. We didn't become very close initially, but in the last few months we have been hanging out more and it has always been us two...She invited me to her place and we would have supper and talk. I would bring her to my place and we would stay for supper sometimes up to 11 PM and I would walk her home...I don't know but I started to have feelings for her, and since she told me she likes hand-made gifts, I have started out of nowhere crafting and baking sweets for her. We get along very well and share our deepest fears and dreams. We are like brother and sister.

 

All seem going well, until the last few weeks when she told me she is worried that I love her or that I see her as more than a friend. I reassured her that I care about her deeply and I would do anything for her, and never hurt her. I really do. I am perfectly fine and I really do consider myself a very lucky man to have a close friend such as herself. However, after we had this conversation, I have now felt somewhat confused and scared...I shouldn't be? I have never been in a relationship with women, so I don't know why I feel this way?

 

I want to keep her in my life as a friend and I am very very afraid of losing her. I don't want to ruin things between us. I don't know what to do. Am I justified to feel this way? Shouldn't I be happy because we talked so openly?

 

Thank you for reading and take care,

 

GGZ

[d0nnivain]

There is an old adage in law: never ask a Q you don't already know the answer to.

 

 

Your friend is telling you not to ask her to be your GF. She sees you as a friend only. If you ask her on a date, she is telling you without being rude that her answer would be no. She is practically begging you not to ask her a Q whose answer will cause her to have to hurt your feelings.

 

 

Since you characterized your relationship as brother & sister and you have stated you are just friends, this is should not be a problem. Do dial back on the gift giving & the sweets. Random gifts are things BFs do, not platonic friends.

 

 

Focus on your studies. Debate the issues with her. But stay away from more personal topics unless she starts the conversation.

[preraph]

^ Totally agree with the above. As you've seen on here, some women will let people hang on hoping the status will change. This nice young lady let you know not to get romantically interested in you, and she did that to keep from having a painful confrontation and I'm sure she'd hate to lose you as a friend. But sometimes we have to let friends go when it becomes awkward. And if you become so centered on her that you lose the ability to seek out and date other women, you will be doing yourself no favors and be wasting a bunch of time.

 

She already knows she can't be interested in you romantically, so that's not going to change. I'm sorry.

 

Please do yourself a favor and seek out other women to date.