katecopes Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 So I am a 21 year old female and have a friend I have known since grade school. She only responds to my messages at her convenience, and only includes me in her plans when I feel like she has nothing "better" to do. Often times she flat out ignores my messages for several days. She is like this with other friends too, it is not personal to me but considering that I always answer her, listen to her rant about her own life for hours on end, I do feel that it is disrespectful. This past weekend we had planned to hang out together, but yesterday afternoon she completely ditched me for other people and parties. I feel in my gut it is time to end this friendship, but want to know if that seems dramatic or like I am overreacting. I feel that this weekend was the last straw. She is a selfish social climber but I have let that fly for so long since I have known her for 15 years. Should I just start ignoring her/block her # or have a talk with her? What do you suggest? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 As a friend, she isn't very much fun. I think you should just stop contacting her, not be available very often, but since you have common friends, not have a big blowup with her about it. So like if there's a group outing you're invited to, go and be polite. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Replace her with better friends, why keep someone who is constantly letting you down. There are friends who lift you up and then those who drag you down.. she sounds like the latter. Cut her loose. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 , but yesterday afternoon she completely ditched me for other people and parties. That certainly tells you, very clearly, where you are on her list of priorities. Now you get to decide if you are willing to allow yourself to be seen and treated like this... ...by anyone, not just this particular person. That she doesn't see and treat and respond to her messages as you do to yours is not cause, IMO, to end any relationship; for things like this, people have their own ways of getting their life done. In this case, because she is doing it 'across the board', as it were, it's not about where you, as an individual, are, on her list of priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Definitely let her go. It's okay as she doesn't seem to care much so neither should you. Link to post Share on other sites
AlmostFamous Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I have come across people like her and the best thing you can do is be too busy to bother with her. The worst kind of "friend" you can have is one that cancels plans to do something else with other people. The least those types can do is bring you along but they don't they just cancel. I think you should give her zero attention unless she really changes. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 I would just fade this person. You don't need to have a big scene about it, just stop calling her and don't rely on her for any part of your social life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carriepalmer Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Don't over react. from what you said, it is obvious, she is not sincere about the relation, Just stop being around for her. If she really cares for this relationship she will come around. Wait and watch I would suggest Link to post Share on other sites
celebritydiscodave Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 (edited) Continue with it only if you consider that the benefit for you is positive. No, you have apparently demonstrated unconditional friendship, whereas, she does n`t appear to have demonstrated any order of actual friendship at all. It is n`t even leaving the heart behind shadowing of friendship, nor even friendship mimicry, if it`s to be considered an order of friendship I`d refer to it as self friendship, to parallel in nature with self love where there`s a romantic pretext. There are very many forms of friendship but I do n`t think it warrants being considered as any of them. Any chance you might be her close friend without her realising it? - Subliminal friendship. I`d agree with the previous poster, stand well back, perhaps she simply has to be woken up to the realisation that she both appreciates and needs you as her friend. Not being around for her is the only way you can know, her too, possibly. Edited February 14, 2017 by celebritydiscodave Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 14, 2017 Share Posted February 14, 2017 Wow, I've never known a 6 year old social climber. I would think by knowing her for 15 years you would have experienced her behavior earlier and ditched her a long time ago. You are young and should have many friends so let this one go as she doesn't seem to care for you and is showing it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 So I am a 21 year old female and have a friend I have known since grade school. She only responds to my messages at her convenience, and only includes me in her plans when I feel like she has nothing "better" to do. Often times she flat out ignores my messages for several days. She is like this with other friends too, it is not personal to me but considering that I always answer her, listen to her rant about her own life for hours on end, I do feel that it is disrespectful. This past weekend we had planned to hang out together, but yesterday afternoon she completely ditched me for other people and parties. I feel in my gut it is time to end this friendship, but want to know if that seems dramatic or like I am overreacting. I feel that this weekend was the last straw. She is a selfish social climber but I have let that fly for so long since I have known her for 15 years. Should I just start ignoring her/block her # or have a talk with her? What do you suggest? This is a one sided friendship and one that shouldn't be nurtured anymore. She is an energy zapper, expects you to be there and listen to her but she won't be there for you unless she feels like it. Classify her as an old friend but one that you're not going to be close to nor rely on for anything. Don't bother discussing this with her as she'll probably downplay it or blame you. Just distance and detach yourself from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 At the end of the day if you feel dragged down and upset by this person, it's an unhealthy relationship and you should let it go. I'd suggest you make your feelings clear, however, and get it off your chest first or it'll fester. Don't just 'block' her on social media. Besides, I'm a big believer in if someone treats you badly, they not get off scott free on top of it.Give them their lumps first, THEN walk. Link to post Share on other sites
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