johnndough35 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 For just about 15 years now I have been friends with a woman who is a bit older than me. Things were fine for most of that time until she got divorced. From time to time she would ask for a loan, nothing heavy, just reasonable amounts, and I was in a position at the time where i was able to help out. Now that I am between jobs she has again come and asked for a loan, after never having paid back any of the other ones. This one would have been more substantial than any of the past by a great deal. Well, I simply cant afford it at this time and said so. She became upset and called and texted me almost nonstop for the better part of three days. I didnt respond, as I felt she was getting ridiculous. Over the years she had always promised to pay me back and that we would get together and go have a few drinks or something like that. Nothing of a sexual nature or anything like that, just easy, fun stuff. It seems to me that I would never see her at all if I wasnt loaning money to her, and even then, it would just be for a few minutes, as she always said she was Just oh so busy! I know Ill never see that money I loaned her, I dont really care about that. I did the best I could to explain my situation, and thats when she started blowing up my phone. I ignored it all as I mentioned. Given the situation, was I wrong in doing so? Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 No I don't think you did anything wrong, well maybe besides loaning her all that money in the past. Seems like you only hear from her when she needs something, but it's good that you finally realized that yourself. Borrowing money from friends is often a bad idea, and it looks like she was never going to pay you back anyway. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Sounds like you were more of an ATM than a friend. Better to figure that out sooner rather than later. And never loan money to a friend. Just give it to them if you can afford it and the cause seems worthwhile. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I think you are well rid of her. She's obviously never going to repay you, and I'm guessing you didn't make her sign an IOU you could take to small claims court, so I'd write her off, block her from being able to contact you on the phone and social media. If she ever shows up at your home, tell her one time you want no further contact with her and shut the door. Then if she returns, call the police. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Well, for one thing, she's obviously not asking for a loan. Thats what she's saying, but she apparently doesnt understand the meaning of "loan". She is just asking you to give her some money. Again. I think its time to shut this ATM down. You are between jobs,and she is obviously too insensitive to realize that you might be in tight yourself. Now might be the time to ask her for some of that money back, since you could really use it right now. Im 100% sure you'll never see that money again, but you might not ever have to have her come by and ask for money again, if you ask her first. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 For just about 15 years now I have been friends with a woman who is a bit older than me. Things were fine for most of that time until she got divorced. From time to time she would ask for a loan, nothing heavy, just reasonable amounts, and I was in a position at the time where i was able to help out. Now that I am between jobs she has again come and asked for a loan, after never having paid back any of the other ones. This one would have been more substantial than any of the past by a great deal. Well, I simply cant afford it at this time and said so. She became upset and called and texted me almost nonstop for the better part of three days. I didnt respond, as I felt she was getting ridiculous. Over the years she had always promised to pay me back and that we would get together and go have a few drinks or something like that. Nothing of a sexual nature or anything like that, just easy, fun stuff. It seems to me that I would never see her at all if I wasnt loaning money to her, and even then, it would just be for a few minutes, as she always said she was Just oh so busy! I know Ill never see that money I loaned her, I dont really care about that. I did the best I could to explain my situation, and thats when she started blowing up my phone. I ignored it all as I mentioned. Given the situation, was I wrong in doing so? Dump her. She's ungrateful and using you. Tell her to find someone else to borrow money from. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anuba Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Seems awful to me. She proved you are just a money jar to her, nothing more. Be glad you know, keep her out of your life (and your pockets!) from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
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