badluckinlove Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 I'll keep this as short as I can. I'm hoping you guys can help me or at least your advice will help someone else down the road. I became friends with an older man at my job just under a year ago. He was 25 years older than me (I'm in my mid-30s). When I lost said job, he would call me weekly to check in and make sure I was ok, we wrote emails daily, went out for lunches, went to a movie, a museum, watched a couple of basketball games at his house, listened to old records at his house (we both love oldies), etc. I always had feelings for him, which I never revealed and I felt like maybe he felt the same way, but I didn't want to lose our friendship, so I never made a move. Now out of nowhere, he's acting very distant, spent a week not talking to me, and even though I finally broke down and e-mailed him, he is slow to respond to my e-mails now. I don't know what I did. Did he sense I liked him and is pulling back? Or is he mad that nothing has happened between us? I just don't know what to do. I want him back in my life and I was just gearing up to tell him how I feel when he vanished. Any ideas how to proceed? P.S. FWIW, he is single and I am still married but looking to become single soon as the marriage hasn't worked out at all. He's aware of this. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 Worry about it when you are actually single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author badluckinlove Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 Worry about it when you are actually single. I'm not worried so much about dating him until I am single (which will be in a couple of months). I just want to know how to get my friend back and why he left... Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 I'm not worried so much about dating him until I am single (which will be in a couple of months). I just want to know how to get my friend back and why he left... Yes, wonder how when you are single. You have feelings for him so this isnt about friendship. At least be honest here. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 It may be that he met someone for whom he does have romantic feelings, or someone who clearly has them for him, and he's pursuing that. Since neither of you made any moves or declarations previously, he may either be disappointed, or just facing what he sees as reality: a much younger, still-married woman who has only been a friend. That's as it should be given that you were still married. Now, all you can do is see if something changes in a few months or so, but minimize contact with him until then. Link to post Share on other sites
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