Long time friend is rude to me

[Sunnymae]

I invited my friend over for a barbecue, she just said "No" so I said you could've of said no thank you. I think she could've of least offered an explanation. So the other day she asked me what I was doing tomorrow, and I said I was Busy. Then I was trying to continue the conversation and told her about a concert I went to with another friend, and sent her a clip of the performance. Her response was "Whatever" so then I called her out in her response and told her that my other friends that Saw the concert had responded with Oh looks like you had fun or had liked on Facebook, not with "whatever" I said, are you having a bad day? What kind of response is whatever wtf!!??". So she responded with "Whatever" again.

I've known her for awhile and she does have a difficult personality. I guess you could describe her as a female version of an Alfa male. She speaks her mind and is rude, but lately it's gotten worse. I've known her so long, but I'm so pissed at how she responded. I'm not sure if I should reach out to her again or just wait for her to come around.

Any input or suggestions, would be welcome.

Edited November 21, 2016 by Sunnymae

[jen1447]

How old are you both? (It matters.)

[Arieswoman]

OP,

She's a) not a friend

b) downright ill-mannered

 

what are you getting out of this association, exactly ?

[Sunnymae]

How old are you both? (It matters.)

 

We are both 54. We met in high school. We were both single moms in our twenties, both divorced then remarried and had kids later in life. Then divorced again. I'm single and she lives on and off with her boyfriend that kicks out of the house and calls the cops on her. I did bad mouth him, and then they got back together, so maybe that's why she's been rude.

[Zahara]

Stop having expectations. If she has a difficult personality that often rubs you the wrong way, move on. You either accept her for who she is and stop trying to get her to conform to your expectations. I've learnt the hard way -- expectations will keep hurting you. Either accept or move on. You can't change people.

[Sunnymae]

OP,

She's a) not a friend

b) downright ill-mannered

 

what are you getting out of this association, exactly ?

 

Thank you for your input . I thought I was being sensitive or over reacting. You just validateed that I didn't over react and it was rude of her.

[jen1447]

We are both 54. We met in high school. We were both single moms in our twenties, both divorced then remarried and had kids later in life. Then divorced again. I'm single and she lives on and off with her boyfriend that kicks out of the house and calls the cops on her. I did bad mouth him, and then they got back together, so maybe that's why she's been rude.

 

Ok, well at 54 this is obvs very juvenile behavior. She's acting out in a very exaggerated way, like a teenager would.

 

Personally I'd reconsider whether you want that element is your life at that age, but if you're determined to keep her I wouldn't engage at all - and def don't goad her w challenges etc. She'll either get over it (w/e it is) and come around or she won't.

[preraph]

Yes, she harbors resentment and feels the need to put you down because she knows you were right about the boyfriend but is staying with him anyway. I would distance myself from this because she is ungrateful and rude.

[Methodical]

She has a major chip on her shoulder and her attitude sucks. At the rate she is going, she'll isolate herself and have no one to turn to when things turn sour with her bf again. After being disrespected, I'd leave her alone. Maybe she'll come around and reach out to you.