One Close Friend

[JewelD]

So I used to have two really close friends. One I knew for 7 years, the other for 5. Anyway, I fell out with one of them because I told her I didn't want to be her maid of honor at her wedding (for reasons I felt were justified. She wanted me to jump through a hoop before she'd actually let me be in the wedding).

 

Anyway, today I realized how suckish it can be to only have one close friend. I'm going through some stuff and I would talk to her about it almost everyday. It was one of the only things that helped bc she knows my personality and I can be honest with her. But today, she was going through some things she didn't want to discuss and now I realize I don't have anyone else in my life I can talk to about certain things.

 

I have a few other friends, but we're not at a level where I tell them personal business of that nature.

 

It just sucks because once you lose a friend, whether it was a necessary loss or not, you can't just go out and find a new one the next day. It takes time to build up that trust in a person and find someone you can truly be yourself around. Good friends really are hard to find. and keep.

[Tidal30]

I feel the pain on this one, I had a falling out last year with a best friend for almost 6 years and now I am having an issue with another best friend of a long time (just made a thread about that). So it feels like I lost two of my closest friends in a short amount of time.

 

We were roommates junior year of undergrad and came pretty close because of that. We'd always bounce life and woman related issues off of each other. I even stood up at his wedding 3 years ago.

 

To make a long story short his wife backed into my sister's car, she told her insurance company a large area of damage was prior damage and basically a series of arguments ensued over this issue. We really have not been the same since then, we talk now and then but we are rather distant overall. I tried burying the hatchet twice but no dice, things won't go back to where they were at anytime soon.

 

In your situation, have you tried talking to your friend, just saying you miss your close friendship and wish you could bury what happened in the past, see if she is willing to do that and become close again?

 

Sorry to hear about your situation, it does suck when a best friendship is lost.

[thecrucible]

I know how you feel. I find it really hard to make close friends and easy to make acquaintances. I see people I know a lot and say hello to but there are few people in my life I can genuinely trust and confide in. For me the friends who have stuck by me the most are not necessarily the friends I have most in common with or are most similar to me in interests. My closest friends are quite different to me in lots of ways but we bond because of our similar temperaments and outlooks.

 

I know I will never be the girl to have 10 bridesmaids if I get married. I try not to let this get to me too much (comparing myself to other people's friendships is going to become a slippery slope). I think you should remember this too - at least you have one treasured close friend.

 

What happened with your friend? in what way did she make you jump through hoops?

 

I really know how you feel! I'm single so I tend to notice what's happening with my friendships more than I did when I was in relationships and it makes me desire even closer friendships because I don't have a relationship.

[preraph]

Yeah, it's rough losing one. I lost one decades ago who was a great friend of mine who I did a lot of life exploring with. I had already moved out of state. She married and had kids. Her husband didn't want her to have friends, and then she had kids and just made up some reason to dump me so as not to have to deal with her husband. Then she got divorced and her parents said she was probably embarrassed. It hurts me to this day, but she did have some mental issues and I just keep telling myself those may have played a part if they worsened. I've dreamed about her nearly all this week because I miss her. But she's dead to me because of the way she treated me.

 

You can't have too many friends going into old age, I can tell you that. People drop out when they are busy with their families and so there's a lot of attrition over the years. So stay active in the things you enjoy and keep trying to make new friends. It's a lot harder as you get older. Wish I could be more positive for you.

[carnelian]

I know how you feel, I think. I have one close friend. Another friend went crazy at me 2-3 years ago and we have hardly spoke since. I am better off without him.

I have many well-wisher "friends", do you? These are not quite friends but much more than acquaintances.

 

Feel fortunate that you have someone who both understands you AND cares.

 

It is hard to find both qualities in one person at same time.

[Ryan Edwards]

Friendship is like standing on wet cement. The longer you stay, the harder it's to leave, and you can never go without leaving your footprints behind. :bunny:

― Moi

Source: Famous short quotes