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The "You're like a brother" line


rockstarva

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I have a different type of question about this one...

 

Now, I've always referred to my good friends as a brother or sister. But I heard that I was like a brother from a friend that's a girl yesterday while talking about our dating lives, and this has been bugging me.

 

I'm torn on this one. I know way more than enough cases where that was just an easy way of rejecting a guy. I want to think she means it the same way I mean it, where it's just that type of solid friendship, but there's always that chance she thought I wanted more and had to put an end to something that really wasn't there. I've known her for about a year, so I really want to say it's the same meaning as how I'd say it, but it's just too hard to tell.

 

So this question is mainly for the girls on here... When you tell a guy that he's like a brother, do you ever actually mean that? Is it common for that to be a sincere thing to say, or does this girl think I want way more than I actually do?

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Either way she is sincere and cares for you as a brother.

But if she got the feeling that you were trying to hint at something she may have felt the need to say it at that time.

I wouldn't say anything and I doubt she's thinking that much on it.

So chill.

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I have a different type of question about this one...

 

Now, I've always referred to my good friends as a brother or sister. But I heard that I was like a brother from a friend that's a girl yesterday while talking about our dating lives, and this has been bugging me.

 

I'm torn on this one. I know way more than enough cases where that was just an easy way of rejecting a guy. I want to think she means it the same way I mean it, where it's just that type of solid friendship, but there's always that chance she thought I wanted more and had to put an end to something that really wasn't there. I've known her for about a year, so I really want to say it's the same meaning as how I'd say it, but it's just too hard to tell.

 

So this question is mainly for the girls on here... When you tell a guy that he's like a brother, do you ever actually mean that? Is it common for that to be a sincere thing to say, or does this girl think I want way more than I actually do?

 

 

If I tell someone they are like a sibling, it means exactly that, we're close enough that I consider you family.

 

But since you don't want anything more with this girl, I don't think it really matters whether she thinks you did or not. She sees you as a brother, you see her as a friend. It works out nice.

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No romantic interest on her part at all. That's what it meant. She was unsure if the loosely discussing dating situations might be misconstrued so she slipped that in to be clear just in case.

A girl who has ANY romantic/sexual interest would NEVER say that as she wouldn't want you looking at her like a sister so she would avoid that reference.

It's gonna always be platonic with this one.

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Well, it means she really values you but that you don't have a chance in hell of ever having sex with her because she isn't attracted to you that way. There's no coming back from that.

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I don't think I would say this to a guy now. I don't want him to feel bad.

 

But if I'm thinking it, it means he's good on paper and I really want to like him but I am unable to see him in a sexual light. There was a guy like this last year. I liked him a lot, thought he had a great personality and would be great relationship material but I don't know what it was, I just couldn't see him in that way and it felt almost wrong having sexual thoughts about him. It can be really frustrating.

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todreaminblue
I have a different type of question about this one...

 

Now, I've always referred to my good friends as a brother or sister. But I heard that I was like a brother from a friend that's a girl yesterday while talking about our dating lives, and this has been bugging me.

 

I'm torn on this one. I know way more than enough cases where that was just an easy way of rejecting a guy. I want to think she means it the same way I mean it, where it's just that type of solid friendship, but there's always that chance she thought I wanted more and had to put an end to something that really wasn't there. I've known her for about a year, so I really want to say it's the same meaning as how I'd say it, but it's just too hard to tell.

 

So this question is mainly for the girls on here... When you tell a guy that he's like a brother, do you ever actually mean that? Is it common for that to be a sincere thing to say, or does this girl think I want way more than I actually do?

 

i ended a relationship that became like brother and sister...it is a legit feeling.....so much of a feeling that sex felt wrong for me and we stopped having it.....he felt like my younger brother who i had to look after....the attraction i had towards him always had to do with a nurturing thing..i knew his history as an orphan and he worked with street kids because of his history...and to me he felt like family.....

 

there are certain guys i meet who draw this family instinct out in me....and i dont believe i am unique in this....feeling a brotherly bond...is quite common..this guy i speak of now sees me as a sister even though ...we have children together....we arent fo course...really brother and sister...that would be...even more wrong....

 

that why its hard to get over orprogress a brotherly feeling that has developed beyond friends...to take it further...would feel wrong.......deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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I have a different type of question about this one...

 

Now, I've always referred to my good friends as a brother or sister. But I heard that I was like a brother from a friend that's a girl yesterday while talking about our dating lives, and this has been bugging me.

 

I'm torn on this one. I know way more than enough cases where that was just an easy way of rejecting a guy. I want to think she means it the same way I mean it, where it's just that type of solid friendship, but there's always that chance she thought I wanted more and had to put an end to something that really wasn't there. I've known her for about a year, so I really want to say it's the same meaning as how I'd say it, but it's just too hard to tell.

 

So this question is mainly for the girls on here... When you tell a guy that he's like a brother, do you ever actually mean that? Is it common for that to be a sincere thing to say, or does this girl think I want way more than I actually do?

 

Well, there could be all sorts of reasons for saying it. I can't imagine saying it to a guy unless he was a very important friend to me. After all, I have a brother - and while we've had our ups and downs as siblings, it's certainly too important a relationship for me to trivialise by telling random male acquaintances that they're like brothers to me.

 

I can see, though, that it could also be used to deliver a "sex isn't going to happen, so don't bother trying to chance your arm with me while you're going through a dry spell" message to a male friend. If you're a heterosexual guy and your female friend is even mildly physically attractive then I would be dubious that you haven't had at least some sexual thoughts/feelings about her.

 

That's a pretty normal aspect of male/female friendship, and one which has formed the basis for many a f*ckbuddy situation. We live in times where those sorts of situations are so commonplace (and in many cases replacing the more traditional "couples" relationships) that I think it probably isn't a bad idea for women who don't want to be involved in such set-ups themselves to give out a bit of a "don't hit on me" message to male friends.

 

If you can't shake off a nagging feeling that this girl thinks you have a serious crush on her (which is a very different thing from passing "not really into her but wouldn't kick her out of bed" thoughts), then that nagging feeling is probably not going to go away until you spark up a conversation with her about it.

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I think you're reading into this way to far.

 

My best friendships are with women. I have 2 that consider me like a brother. I have heard the term from them on different occasions. I take it as a compliment as should you. It means you've reached a level friendship with them that no other male has and few females have.

 

When you reach the "like family" friendship level, it means they will confide in you things they won't with the vast majority of their friends and even some of their family. They will rely on you to be there for them in ways they won't other friends. They will also do the same for you.

 

If they wanted to set a "boundary" they would simply reinforce the "we are just friends" that add more depth the friendship by using phrases that imply a deeper connection!

 

You should really take this a compliment! Finding friendship like this is difficult and truly a blessing.

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