Why would my cheating friend do this?

[sandylee1]

I have a friend who I thought I knew fairly well, but I heard something about her that has left me wondering.

 

She's married and has been having an affair with a single OM for a couple of years.

 

She didn't tell me, but being the small world it is, she was at an event with her husband that an aquaintance of mine was at and they got talking and the aquaintance mentions being single.

 

My friend decides to set her up on a date with a guy and gets him to come to the event.

 

Long story short, it turns out the guy is actually my friend's OM. The OM met up with the aqaintance and told her he had been seeing my friend for the last 2 years and he was in love with her.

 

My friend has no idea that I know anything and the aqaintance has no idea that the woman she met was my friend.

 

I just can't get round she would introduce her OM to my aqaintance like that.

 

The thought of deflecting any suspicions from her H came to mind, as her H knows the OM, but he's not a friend of his.

 

It's like some of the stuff I read on these forums about the WS introducing the AP to their spouse as a rouse to spend more time together.

 

It just made me feel sick TBH. It's not the affair itself, but the setting her OM up with the other person that seems so awful.

 

Can anyone think of any other reason why she'd do this?

Would any of you say anything to her? I don't plan to.

Would you still be her friend?

 

I just felt sorry for her H who the aquaintance said was so loving and touching my friend in a really proud way.

[preraph]

This sounds exactly like the kind of stuff an old roommate of mine would do. It's two purposes. It gives her access to him and gives her a cover story. What my roommate would do (30 some years ago) is overbook her date nights and then act like she was setting me up with a guy and then steal him back later that night if possible.

 

I believe she is running something like that now at age 60 involving one of my old BFs while her husband is laying dying of cancer, and I am just disgusted with her and waiting to see if the old bf I fear may be a target responds and hoping he'll tell me he's not involved. I know she has another man who is her handyman she's cheating with. She is a diagnosed narcissist and also bipolar with mania being her pretty much mainstay so she likes a whole lot of attention, which was easy for her to get when she was young and blond and big boobs, but much harder now, so she's reaching into everyone's back pocket to connect with men and get attention and sex, apparently, and I'm also worried she might be trying to tap my old bf for money because she is always up to her eyeballs in debt and has a business of her own that she mismanages and now with her husband out of commission, it's piling up.

 

I am waiting this out to see how bad it is.

 

Now, another thing she told me she did was she took her grown son to her handyman's daughter's graduation, so she's really playing with fire. I think she took the son to kind of deflect someone wondering who she was and why she was there. She's very brazen and thinks everyone else is stupid. But her days of being an excellent liar are coming to an end with old age.

[sandylee1]

Thanks Pregraph.

 

I did think it was probably to provide a cover story to spend more time together. I'm just so shocked by it all TBH. I now just think I really don't know her at all.

 

Of course there's no way her H would suspect anything is going on between them with her setting him up with someone else. It's just playing with people's emotions. As it happens my aqaintance says he's not her type, but they've remained friendly and that's how I get the info unbeknown to my friend.

 

We get on really well and I never knew she could do something like this. Again not the affair itself but the deviousness.

 

It's just such a small world and the way I found out shows it.

[preraph]

I think the best defense to not end up being used by her is to not accept any of her fixups or just bust her to her man.