Blew up at a friend

[emilywtf]

I have this friend... We've known each other since September 2015, met via a role playing game, and have gotten quite close, in part due to us being forced into management roles in this game. We talk to each other about issues in our real lives, and I find him to be extremely thoughtful, even tempered, and intelligent.

 

Things have been quite stressful in our group, the new core group of leaders is basically full of idiots and today, while he was away, one of the idiots, who has been a constant thorn in my side, made an aggressive and highly disrespectful comment towards me, commenting that my friend and co-manager said some stuff that basically threw me under the bus.

 

In the heat of the moment I left him a really awful message, saying I was quitting, I don't appreciate working so hard and getting thrown under the bus, and that he broke my heart. Ugh, just thinking about it now makes me feel like I want to vomit.

 

Within minutes, after the red haze of anger cleared, I apologized (quite profusely) and realized that he would not do something like that intentionally (a misunderstanding is what I am seeing now that I am more calm) but... I am afraid our friendship is ended now. I wasn't able to apologize to him directly, he was not available still.

 

I cannot believe I did that. I am sure it ruined his day, and of course it would make him feel badly. It is the worst thing to think you hurt someone you care about so much. I feel like an awful, horrible, selfish twat. I would not blame him if we never spoke to me again, in fact I am sure I would deserve it.

 

But... If you were on the receiving end of someones mad rantings (how I feel about it)... IS there anything you would need them to do to make up for it? To forgive them? My boyfriend suggested just leaving him alone for a few days, then reach out and apologize to see what happens, but I hate the idea of him being hurt and upset for days...

Edited May 21, 2016 by emilywtf
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[preraph]

Have you ever met this person? If not, it's just one more online fantasy friend down the tubes. They tend to implode because you're not seeing who they really are if you haven't met them.

 

I have had more than one online friend I met on fan boards abruptly exit. One was when she offered me a ticket to go to a concert with her in another state and I accepted. She began backpeddling immediately.

 

One was someone who kept talking to some online stalkers who were a real-life threat to an online friend of mine because they lived within driving distance and she had met them. The third person was safely across the ocean and just didn't take any of it seriously. So we tried to talk sense to him, and he got huffy and we dumped him.

 

 

It's not real if you haven't spent some face to face time with them. You can certainly apologize and take it all back. If it's only online, they don't have much to lose by accepting your apology. Good luck.