Concerned for friend - her bf is shady as hell...

[kem92]

I need to have a rant! I feel so bad for my friend as her now fiancée has completely isolated her. Here is a breakdown as to why I think he is shady.

 

- He is mid 40s, divorced, 3 kids. She is late 20s.

- they started dating and he presented a lavish lifestyle to her. He had a nice BMW car, then got two porches, took her on luxurious holidays, expensive gifts etc.

- He wouldn't tell her why his ex-wife 'suddenly' threw him out of the house. Turns how he was having an affair, my friend got told this by his drunk sister.

- He had 8 new cars in under a year. Who does that. Every couple of months he would get a new one. In the city I used to live in, it is common for people to rent expensive cars they can't actually buy, but he told her they were always bought new.

- She quit her job as she hated it and he would give her money to get by on. He suddenly stopped giving her money and she spent ALL of her savings on groceries and has no money left.

- He was back and forth to court with someone he worked with but my friend didn't know what it was about.

- He had debt collectors at his door but my friend didn't know why. He had to borrow money from his brother.

- He told her that he owned his condo but he suddenly decided to 'sell' it last year. When they moved, they moved to a rented condo in middle of nowhere and left 'their' furniture behind in the old condo. Makes no sense... my SO says he clearly didn't own the condo and just said he did, otherwise why leave all of your furniture and then wait months to buy new stuff when you move.

- My friend wanted a small dog and her bf said no, suddenly he thinks it's a great idea to get two rottweillers.

- Her SO had a good job last year but suddenly left this year & started up his own business and works from home/travels but my friend has no idea what he does...

- He always told her he would never get married again/never wanted to get engaged/have kids - then proposed to her and she 'forgot' to tell people.

- They have found out their lease isn't going to be renewed so they are moving to France... BECAUSE THEIR LEASE ISN'T RENEWED????? His parent's have a house in France, my SO said they are broke and he is only moving there cause it's free living.

- She was also meant to be going back to school to study but now they're moving I guess she won't be. I feel like he wants to keep her as isolated as possible -- I wish that she could see that!

 

The whole situation is so god damn bizarre and I am worried for her.

 

Does anyone else have friends who's SO's are shady?

[preraph]

She's too young to understand that he's out of control financially and that he's in debt rather than rich. I'm sure that is also why he divorced. A client of mine had a husband like that, always had to have a new boat and they didn't make much money. Turns out he was on meth.

 

The main thing you need to tell her is that he isn't rich but is in over his head and not to mix money or rent with him EVER.

[kem92]

She's too young to understand that he's out of control financially and that he's in debt rather than rich. I'm sure that is also why he divorced. A client of mine had a husband like that, always had to have a new boat and they didn't make much money. Turns out he was on meth.

 

The main thing you need to tell her is that he isn't rich but is in over his head and not to mix money or rent with him EVER.

 

No chance of that happening as he made her use her savings to buy the groceries even though she wasn't working so had zero income. Who the hell does that.

[bigbaby]

She's got to know he's a disaster by now. Therefore, she's probably getting something she wants from this anyway. Excitement or just something about him that she's crazy about anyway. Any guesses?

 

 

In my experience, the best you can do when a friend is driving you crazy with their stupid relationship choices is back off until they come to their senses because anything you say just goes in one ear and out the other. Don't worry, she probably won't be so enamored of this fruitloop for long!