ExtraSpice Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Lately I have been trying to socialize more. I am in a post breakup phase and realize that I really need more friends and some good social interactions. Very difficult to make new friends once you are out of college and settled in your work life. I used meetup.com as an avenue to make new friends. I have been going to some for a couple of weeks now but nothing panned out. The last one I went to I met a guy (I am a guy as well) who as it turns out lives super close to me. So at the end of it he said we should hang out since we live so close. Great. We exchanged numbers. Seems silly but I wonder how one initiates this potential friendship. Do I just see if he wants to hang out one day, get a few drinks or something along those lines? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Invite him to go do something active. I always use bowling for an example. It's nice to have something to focus on. I met some people from a childfree meetup two different ways. One was bowling and it was lots of fun, no pressure to come up with a lot to say, something to focus on. The other was at someone's house and it was all very awkward, with a group of women standing around wringing their hands (I was one of them) while the married couples watched football. So do something active, like go to the zoo or a museum and keep it out in public until you know him better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LeoneCool Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 It's possible. But finding the right meetup is the first step. Generic meetup groups contains all types of people, so it's probably better to get into those groups that have a special interest/hobby. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExtraSpice Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 Invite him to go do something active. I always use bowling for an example. It's nice to have something to focus on. I met some people from a childfree meetup two different ways. One was bowling and it was lots of fun, no pressure to come up with a lot to say, something to focus on. The other was at someone's house and it was all very awkward, with a group of women standing around wringing their hands (I was one of them) while the married couples watched football. So do something active, like go to the zoo or a museum and keep it out in public until you know him better. Thats a good point. A hangout with any activity may put too much burden on the conversation and what not. Might try to play pool or bowling as you suggested. Thanks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExtraSpice Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Figured I would give an update. I invited him for pool and some drinks. He accepted but the timing on the weekend just didn't workout. He suggested lunch instead so we just grabbed some lunch. It actually went fairly well. The conversation was smooth and not forced. Seemed like a cool person. So yeah there may be potential for a friendship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Great! Now, be certain he knows if it's strictly friendship you're after so he doesn't get confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExtraSpice Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yes that is important. I did make it pretty clear that I was looking for a friendship (without making it seem awkward or anything). And turns out he is looking for the same. Both of us are in that "after college it is hard to make friends" sort of phase. Link to post Share on other sites
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