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was mean when i was little, and i don't want people to find out about it


yue.ayase

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So back when I was little i wasn't a nice person, i would talk behind people's back and say mean things about them and think it's perfectly fine. I treated my "friends" horribly. I was childish and selfish, and i admit i was a b!tch. So 8 years later, now, one of these "friends" is still my friend, and we became closer throughout the years and became real friends, let's call her Fiona for now. And then there's another girl, lets call her Alice for now. Well, back when i was little, i would tell Alice how ugly Fiona was and all, and behind Alice back, i would say mean things about Alice to Fiona. I even wrote a story for one of our mutual friend saying that Alice is disgusting blah blah blah. And when alice move school, i send all these weird, "emotional" messages to her, questioning her why she moved and all. A year after that i apologise for my behaviour through email. SO what my problem is, is that Fiona and Alice met recently, and they go to the same uni. So i'm afraid they will tell each other what i said back then. I know what i did was not acceptable and i will apologise if they talk to me about it and explain to them how it happened a long time ago. But what if they don't ask me about it? and even though it happened a long time ago, it doesn't mean it's ok, they might still be upset when they find out. What can i possibly do?

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Michelle ma Belle

You can't control what happens between them. If they do happen to rehash old crap from when they were kids and confront you about it, own it. You said yourself you know you were a horrible person and already apologized for it. All you can do is remind them that you're not the same person and make amends through your actions now as an adult.

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Most people realize someone has matured and changed. No one is much the same as in high school. I had some bullies in high school and I ran into one of them some years after graduation and didn't recognize her because she had a nose job, but she came up and introduced herself at the grocery store and apologized for being mean and I gave her a chance and we went out clubbing together once just to mend fences. I'm sure it made us both feel better.

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