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Best friend feels like I've betrayed her and I'm not sure why...


xxCourt96xx

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Her and I have been best friends for many years, we have fallen apart many times and come back together each time. Even in the bad times we've always tried to be there for each other...and she's been especially supportive of me this past month with my mom going to prison next month and my boyfriend leaving me out of the blue. Recently she introduced me to her guy friend that she talks about and warned me not to try anything because he's like her brother...I told her that wouldn't be possible because I was too hurt by my boyfriend leaving me to ever remotely feel anything for anyone else...besides, he isn't my type to be honest. But for some reason these past few days he hasn't left my head (better than having my ex in there, right?) maybe it's just because I like the idea of him. And I know he probably doesn't have feelings for me (he told my friend he thought I was pretty but that's pretty much it I'm sure)

 

Anyway, a few days ago we were all hanging out and she was extremely uncomfortable that I was flirting with him (I didn't even realize it) and finally today I decided to come clean with my feelings. She's pissed now and tells me she feels so betrayed by me for liking someone that's like a brother to her and she's been cold and distant towards me ever since

 

I feel super confused and extremely guilty now...like I'm a bad person. It's not like I caused this to happen...I don't even like him that much, I find him cute, that's pretty much it. :( she told me she doesn't like him like that...she just doesn't want me liking him for some odd reason. It's not like anything would happen between us.. he's got a gypsy personality and I'm too broken from my ex to want to ever be in a relationship for awhile.

 

I just needed to get this off my chest.

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She told you not to. What part of that didn't you understand? I don't know her reasons for that. Maybe she secretly thinks you'd be poison to him or that he doesn't need to be hurt. Doesn't matter. Friends introduce you to friends, you keep in mind whose friend it was first.

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Since you both have been girlfriends for so long it seems like you should be able to talk this out. I think from reading your whole post that you have already figured out why she is upset with you "she introduced you to a guy-friends, told you he was like a brother to her and she didn't want you to get interested in him like a boyfriend, but aftetr you shared with her you started to think about him in that kind of way, it hurt her." Of course, I summarized what you said.

 

To show her that you really value your relationship with her as a girlfriend, do you think it could help for your to apologize to her?

 

I agree with you that you need time before you start dating someone else and it is so easy to just think about someone else to forget a person you stopped dating. This is why so many people recommend that people take 6 months to a year before dating another person to make sure you are emotionally over the previous relationship.

 

I hope you and your girlfriend can talk about it. Friendships are hard to come by and need to be cherished. All relationships take a lot of communication.

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Since you both have been girlfriends for so long it seems like you should be able to talk this out. I think from reading your whole post that you have already figured out why she is upset with you "she introduced you to a guy-friends, told you he was like a brother to her and she didn't want you to get interested in him like a boyfriend, but aftetr you shared with her you started to think about him in that kind of way, it hurt her." Of course, I summarized what you said.

 

To show her that you really value your relationship with her as a girlfriend, do you think it could help for your to apologize to her?

 

I agree with you that you need time before you start dating someone else and it is so easy to just think about someone else to forget a person you stopped dating. This is why so many people recommend that people take 6 months to a year before dating another person to make sure you are emotionally over the previous relationship.

 

I hope you and your girlfriend can talk about it. Friendships are hard to come by and need to be cherished. All relationships take a lot of communication.

 

Tell that to my ex. Sigh. Lol but yeah, I've apologized to her and we spent some time together today. I think all is okay now. I haven't brought him up much.

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Tell that to my ex. Sigh. Lol but yeah, I've apologized to her and we spent some time together today. I think all is okay now. I haven't brought him up much.

 

I am glad you have been able to work on your relationship with your girlfriend. I cherish all relationships as long as they can be healthy. I have lost many gf relationships due to misunderstanding and from my experience I find people "call it quits" too quickly.

 

 

 

Thanks for commenting back. :laugh:

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