Friends Don't Want to Hang Out with Me?

[treehugger101]

Have you ever had a group friends you hung out with from time to time, then all of sudden those friends, rather would hang out with each other and not include you? Or they would say let's hang out then stand you up or say they would rather hang out with that friend instead of you, even though you are all friends?

 

Would you consider those people still your friends? Have any of you ever had this happen to you? What did you do?

[preraph]

Well, there's nothing you can do. All I would advise is to not treat them any better than they treat you. Do not try to win their favor. If their behavior is really rude and they're cancelling stuff with you and going with someone else instead, stop trying to be friends with them. You can call them on it, but you'll have to put some force behind it or it will only come off whiney and push them away. Don't wait until they've done it a million times. Call them on it each time. And if they don't seem to care you feel like a second class citizen, blow them off.

[sportygirl89]

Have you ever had a group friends you hung out with from time to time, then all of sudden those friends, rather would hang out with each other and not include you? Or they would say let's hang out then stand you up or say they would rather hang out with that friend instead of you, even though you are all friends?

 

Would you consider those people still your friends? Have any of you ever had this happen to you? What did you do?

 

No these type of friends are considered flaky. If you wanted to put them on the burner. But I'm almost certain they are talking about you when you aren't there, especially if these are women.

[disneyfan90]

I would keep my distance from these "friends" as much as possible. The world is full of people, and your time is better spent making new friends that truly care about you, rather than worrying about these people. I've somewhat been in this situation, and I think everyone experiences it from time to time. The nice thing is that with some effort, you will most certainly find new friends--real friends.

[treehugger101]

I was thinking that MAYBE his friends don't want to hang with him because of me? Like maybe his guy friends are thinking "He has a girlfriend now, he doesn't want to hang with us anymore". Sort of ordeal, I told my Boyfriend maybe this is the issue, but he says his friends would have told him. But if they are standing him up by not wanting to hang out with him, maybe it is because of me or even him? What do you think?

[preraph]

Well, neither men nor women always want to include their bf or gf in their girls' or boys' night out. It cramps their style. Just accept that he will have an occasional night out with the boys and don't worry about it, and tell him that, and then you should also have a night out with the girls.

[elpatron]

I've been on the, uh giving end of this, where I just outgrew some of my friends and moved on to a new group of friends. One of them in the group I left behind kind of confronted me about it but I never really explained it to them, just really had differences in interests.

 

When I/you find a friend or group of people who are more aligned to your likes, you really just can't help but leave some people behind.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still friends with that person who confronted me about it, but we don't hang out the same anymore, we're also older etc. I also never treated these people poorly, just would choose not to hang out. It can be difficult to do this peacefully. There's always some bitterness.