Why did he change all of a sudden?

[MissLY]

Me and my male coworker both started out at the same company in January. We were newbies together. Our cubicles are beside each other and we instantly clicked from Day 1. He’s extremely genuine, laid back and very cool. We’ve hung out multiple times over the past few months. We’ll go out for lunch, happy hour and just flat out joke around in between projects at work. One day, me and several coworkers (including him) went to hang out after work. He told us that he’s dating someone but isn’t 100% committed to her. Then he stated how he’s not the commitment type at all and loves to date all types of people.

 

Let me start off by saying, I’m slightly attracted to him, but not completely. In fact, I’m not sure how I feel about him. I do have a soft spot for him because we’ve spent so much time together, but at the same time, I really don’t think its a great idea to date a coworker.

 

Back to the story.

 

Several days after the coworker outing, him and I went out for happy hour. While there, he confessed for the first time how beautiful he thought I was and that there’s no other girl quite like me. He then stated that he isn’t a commitment-phobe, but if he finds the right person, he would absolutely commit and stay monogamous. I didn’t have much to say after that, I just thanked him for the compliments and kept the conversation going.

 

Everything was fine after that. My birthday was 2 weeks ago and he took me out for birthday drinks after work. However, just last week, he started acting different. He came into work and joked around with me for a bit, but then he kind of avoided me for the rest of the day. I thought maybe he was just swamped with work, but he continued the same behavior for the rest of the week. I said hi to him a few times and he spoke back to me, but he would keep it short. Its very odd, and I’m getting a bad taste in my mouth because of it. He’s totally social with other people at work but when it comes to me, he doesn’t speak much or even start up conversations like he used to. He’s not being an a**hole, but his behavior just isn’t the same. Its like he’s put a wall up.. and I have to work a bit harder than other people in order to have a damn conversation with him. Its frustrating and even angers me a little. I just want my friend back and I feel like he’s slowly slipping away.

 

Anybody have an idea as to why he might be acting like this?

[La.Primavera]

he confessed for the first time how beautiful he thought I was and that there’s no other girl quite like me. He then stated that he isn’t a commitment-phobe, but if he finds the right person, he would absolutely commit and stay monogamous.

 

That completely contradicts what he said previously.

 

He told us that he’s dating someone but isn’t 100% committed to her. Then he stated how he’s not the commitment type at all and loves to date all types of people.

 

Sorry but I think this guy is full of it. He complimented you and said there was no one else like you because he thought he could get in your pants. When you didn't respond the way he anticipated he gave up. This is my theory based on his behaviour back in the office. You weren't an easy lay so you lost your appeal so he backed off or maybe he just grew a conscience and decided to be loyal to his girlfriend by scaling back his interaction with you. Personally, I think the first theory is more likely.

 

I think you should congratulate yourself on avoiding this situation. He is no good. He maybe a fun work colleague but he is not boyfriend material! He would have slept with you under the pretense of a potential relationship, saying you are so special but he wasn't being sincere, at least not about the monogamy part. You would have been strung along until he got bored.

 

He may have good qualities but when you look at his behaviour critically you will see the type of guy he really is. Look at how he disrespects his current girlfriend. Decent guys don't behave like that. Just bare that in mind if he ever tries it on again.