Our friendship is over....

[Heartbroken12416]

Starting today, I'm going to be having to do one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but I have to end a friendship.....and I'm completely heartbroken over it, but I know it's for the best.

 

I've known this guy for 4 years on and off. We met and were always really close but our friendship was always on and off, but he would always come around. Last May, he came around again and we have been in contact ever since. We considered ourselves to be best friends. After a while of being back in contact, things started getting more intense. We were hanging out numerous times a week, I would spend the night, we would go out together and we were intimate together. He even introduced me to his extended family and whatnot. He came forward eventually and told me that he had feelings for me and I was ecstatic because feelings had developed on my end too....but literally 2 weeks later almost to the day, my dreams were shattered when he messaged me and told me that he "changed his mind" and that he no longer had feelings for me. He said he still cared about me and wanted to be friends, and I tried it, but we were almost arguing non stop. We would have our good days for sure, but there were definitely more bad days. I tried to get through it because I still so desperatly wanted him in my life for some reason still.

 

So the other day, we had a pretty big fight.....and it escalated pretty quickly to the point where I told him our friendship was over and deleted him off of my facebook. So after a few days of thinking about it, I felt that maybe I had acted a bit childish with deleting him off of facebook, and I tried to reconsile with him. I called him but he didn't answer....so I sent him a text asking him to call me when he could, but that text went unanswered. I asked if he was busy, but still got no response. So I sent one last text afterwards telling him that I hope we could fix our frienship cause I didn't want to lose him but I wasn't going to bother him anymore and if he wanted to talk to me, that I wasn't mad and he could come to me any time he wanted to or needed to still....which also went unanswered so after that I just left it alone.

 

So when things were really good between us, we always did a lot for each other, and one of the things I did for him was get him a job where I work (yeah, big mistake apparently). We thought it would be the greatest thing working together. So anyway, today we were both at work, and he ignored me most of the day. But towards the end of the day, he came up and started talking to me and we started joking around and laughing, so I thought everything was okay. I asked him if we were okay now and he said "yeah but you need to quit your s". So I asked him if I could refriend him on facebook and he said no. I thought he was joking though.... so when I got out of work, we were still good, we were joking around and whatnot still and I said goodbye, and immediately added him on facebook. A little bit later, I went and checked if he had accepted and I found out that he denied my request. I was shocked.... Like I said, I figured he was joking but I guess he was serious. So I sent him a text asking him to let me know if he didn't want to be friends anymore and just to let me know, and he has not responded again.

 

I'm completely heartbroken that I have to do this but the friendship we currently have isn't healthy for either of us. And it also sucks, because we now have to work with each other and see each other daily. I haven't stopped crying all afternoon knowing that our friendship is over. I'm crushed that I have to say goodbye to him and I think I'm still in denial because I so badly want him to text me and say that we are friends....but I know he's not going to :(

 

Does anybody have any advice for me at all and how I can get over this?. Thanks in advance for your help!.

[preraph]

I have been capable for some careless folly in my love life, but I was never foolhardy enough to hire or get hired a man I might be interested in. One did ask.

 

He just wanted to find out what you were like to have sex with. He may never have really had much else on his mind. Maybe he did. Some guys say if a man is hanging around a woman, they want sex. I don't think that's always true, but in the case of being that close, they must at least wonder about it.

 

He's being a jerk now, so you can't fix the friendship. I had a good friend I made the mistake of letting talk me into romance too and it ended similarly. We'd try to be friends, go to lunch occasionally, and end up him basically getting mad because all I still wanted to be was friends and get in a huff - even though he was seeing the woman he wanted to marry and living with her already. So we couldn't be more than acquaintances. It is my one regret as far as the thing I wish I simply hadn't allowed to happen. I might still have a friend, though i doubt it because likely a future wife would have broken up that friendship because of jealousy.

 

I'm sorry you have gone out on a limb and made yourself look pathetic. A true friend would not have allowed you to do that. If it were me, I'd regain as much dignity as possible by blocking him every way from here to the Sun and never talking to him again, while simultaneously dating new guys or going out with female friends and having fun. Truly, living well is not only the best revenge; it's the only real revenge. Good luck. Sorry for your loss. Been there.