makeithappen Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 hello everyone, so I want to build a friendship with some of my male friends (i am female), but whilst they enjoy spending time with me during our flat social events, they seem to not want to socialise outside of these meet ups. I am so confused, I don't know if I display some inhibitions, or if they just don't want to be friends. They told me they enjoy our conversations (or rather debates), but then, show no signs of wanting to be deeper friends. How can I determine if it's because of some behaviour I may be displaying, or if it's just that they want to keep it superficial? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 They want to keep it casual. Are you inviting them out as a group or are you inviting them to hang out with you one on one? Do any of them have wives or girlfriends? Do they have other female friends they see outside of the group? They may be trying to keep it simple. Or maybe they don't have much free time. Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 They told me they enjoy our conversations (or rather debates)s I found it interesting that you included the word "debates" in there. That suggests to me that there has been a fair amount of debating going on during these social events. It is possible that you might be perceived as an opinionated person who wants to debate everything, even if that is not necessarily the case. Being outspoken isn't a bad thing but it is possible that it comes across as argumentative which may make these guys feel less inclined to get closer to you or spend extended periods of time in your company. If you think there might be some truth to that then you have a choice to either tone it down a notch and make more effort to engage them in relaxed conversation or embrace who you are, forget about them and go out and find new guy friends that will like you just as you are. I could be wrong but it is something I have seen before so I thought it was worth mentioning. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 There could be any number of reasons for this. It could be that these males just have a preference for hanging out with other men, just like some women prefer friendships with other females. It could be that they have significant others and they feel that hanging out one on one with another woman is inappropriate and disrespectful. They may see women only as potential romantic partners or bed mates and since they don't see a possibility for either of those things with you they regard time spent with you as a waste. Friendships have to happen naturally and with willing participants. Since these guys are not expressing an interest in developing a deeper friendship with you then I think you need to accept that. Link to post Share on other sites
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