Is my friend right? Am I a bad friend?

[Ashley S]

Ok, so I met this girl in school her name is Chloe. Chloe and I are very close, and so she introduced me to her guy friend that she knew for eight years, his name is Jim. Jim is really cool, so it's usually the three of us hanging out. I only known her for 4 months, but Jim started to like me or something and she has been getting kinda rude with me, saying snotty comments because she's jealous that her guy friend likes me.

 

 

I am fair with both of them, but I noticed things about Chloe that turned me off. She loves to create fights and drama. When we are out in public, she antagonizes Jim, and then he gets irate, and it usually ends up with cops being called because she won't stop with her antics, and plus they both are drunk, and she especially does it when Jim is really wasted, and it's out in public. Jim keeps warning me that she is not a good friend, and to not be like him, and stick around. He keeps saying "I'm stupid, Ashley. I feel bad for her in a way, but don't be like me. Ditch while you can because it will just be an unhealthy relationship between you two. She manipulates, and uses people all the time." I am torn, but she keeps showing me a side of her that is not good because Jim supposedly likes me.

 

 

She said to me "Who do you love more? Me or Jim?" I said "I love you both equally!" She said "What? You should love me more! I am your friend Ashley, you knew me longer than Jim! You're a bad friend!" I was really hurt by that, but I explained to her that I am not a person that loves anyone more than the other person, and that I love everyone equally. She didn't seem to get it, and she just kept saying "You're messed up Ashley! I should be your number 1 friend, the one you love the most, and you say you me and Jim equally? What the ****? That just shows how much of a bad friend you are!" Is she right? Should I love her more? I didn't know that loving two people equally is bad? What do you think about all of this? Am I a bad friend?

[anika99]

Your friend Chloe and your friend Jim, go out, get drunk and then fight with each other until the cops are called? I think you need to ditch both of them and try to meet a better class of friends. Don't bother defending Jim and coming back here to post about how Chloe starts the fights and it's not Jim's fault. He is every bit as much at fault for those fights as she is. If he was any better than her he wouldn't even participate in that kind of behavior. Find better friends.

[preraph]

You're all three bad friends. You're a bad friend because you're moving in on someone she introduced you to who she doesn't want you to move in on. He's a bad friend because he's flirting with friends she introduces him to -- and trust me they have been romantically involved or he wouldn't still be hanging in there. And she is a bad friend because she gets drunk and unruly and creates chaos. You all need to get your crap together, set some boundaries and respect other people more.

[davidromero43]

$2.99 is price of eggs in China.

[badpenny]

I think we should establish ages, but I'm actually thinking - guessing - here, that you're all under 18....

 

Did you know that at 18, your brains haven't finished "Hard-wiring" yet?

 

Truly, biologically/anatomically speaking, your brains aren't finished forming, and indeed, won't do so until you hit your mid- to late 20's. We're talking common sense, rational, evaluative thinking.

 

Can't be done fully, or successfully by those under that age-bracket.

 

So....How old ARE you guys....?

[Diezel]

Again, why do you continously place yourself in these positions? Everyone around you is drama, to the degree that you have to almost wonder if you are the common denominator.

 

Find healthier friends to be around.

[preraph]

I wonder if something in OP's upbringing hasn't made her recognize chaos and drama and lack of boundaries as the closest thing to love.