I'm an Introvert,

[ToastedHat]

Well long story short for those who don't know I haven't been all too successful in terms of friendships, I had a bunch of toxic friends through school to college (So, from when I was about 4 years old to 16, I'm 19 now) that really only were interested in pulling down everyone around them and boosting their egos, flirt with any girl I was interested in, etc. When I finally dropped them it left me being an introvert of sorts, I never really had anybody I could depend on.

 

Around the time I got rid of my previous false friends I got into a relationship with a girl, she was aware about my current situation and honestly helped me through a lot, but after some months dating we chose to break up, I felt it was necessary as two of her jealous friends were making more issues as the days went on.

 

But, after two years she's still around, we do talk pretty often, one of my best but not closest friends, if anything one of my only friends now.

 

I guess to put it bleakly, is there anyway I can try be less of an introvert towards people, or to pursue a closer friendship with this girl?

 

Maybe it's just a confidence issue.

[freelo]

Your situation is common among introverts and extrovert alike. I myself am a hyper extrovert- I love people so much I can literally talk to people all day long and not get sick of it. But after going through an abusive relationship, I shut down inside and stopped talking to people I didn't know. Lo and behold I cultivated the shell of an introvert and went days without talking to anybody. Two years later though, I've become more socially active than ever due to a new job I love and volunteering for causes I'm passionate about.

 

Which leads to my advice to you-don't think of yourself as an introvert with confidence issues. You're super young-19-and ready to conquer the world! Think of this time in your life as a chance to get rid of baggage, follow your passions (including hobbies, career choices, volunteering, creative projects...and so much more!) and become the person you've always wanted to be.

 

Here's a practical suggestion-take a piece of paper and write down all the questions you've had about yourself and the world. Then go to places and people who might offer you an answer. It could be as simple as-how do we reduce our carbon footprint and going to your local college environmental club-just let your passion guide you and you'll find yourself surrounded by like minded friends and even potential girlfriends in no time.

 

I hope that helps! Good luck!

[loverboy69]

I'm an introvert but I have to play the extrovert in my role at work. I have to give presentations to staff members and do lots of meets and greets with vendors and customers alike. I engage my coworkers several times a day for various reasons.

 

I come across as confident and sure of myself but inside sometimes I just want to hide away in a dark room.

 

People like us find replenishment in ourselves. We naturally find loud, noisy and crowded places obnoxious. My favorite time of the day is when I get to come home and kick up my feet and find solace with myself.

 

It's a struggle being an introvert for some. People sometimes confuse us for being socially shy but not all introverts are shy. Being shy indicates a certain amount of insecurity. That's not me at all.

 

I pretend I'm an actor playing an extroverted role in life. I keep this in mind when I go to work each day. It's necessary for me to do this and it's done wonders for my career and dating life. We should never let being an introvert define who we are. Being an introvert is just a part of who we are. Hopefully you'll learn over time when to turn the introvert switch on then off as needed.

Edited April 13, 2015 by loverboy69

[disneyfan90]

I can relate because I am an introvert myself. There is a difference though, between being shy and introverted. Since you mentioned confidence issues, it could be shyness as well. What really helps is getting out there and forcing yourself to talk to people. Go up to people and make small talk. Go to meetups and introduce yourself to people. At school/work, try to take the initiative and get to know people. Regarding this girl, text her more often and invite her to some event. At first, it will seem uncomfortable, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. This will also help you to handle rejection better. In turn, you'll make more friends and get closer to people. I used to be painfully shy before, but this exposure technique has helped me a lot.

 

There's a girl I work with who started working there a month ago. Within a week of her starting there, she had everybody in the office, including our boss on all her social media profiles. It seemed like she had become best friends with everyone at work, because she'd always hang out with them outside of work too. On the other hand, I've been working there for over a year and I'm close to only one person. At first, I wondered why I couldn't be like this girl, but then I realized that it's okay. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. Sometimes it's better to have a few very good friends, rather than a ton of fake ones, but of course, it takes putting yourself out there to find them.

Edited April 13, 2015 by disneyfan90

[Sugarkane]

Feel like you described my situation to a T. I'm sick of being excluded from ready made groups. I also have trust issues from being betrayed.

[Sugarkane]

Feel like you described my situation to a T. I'm sick of being excluded from ready made groups. I also have trust issues from being betrayed. I watched a good TedTalk a while ago about being an Introvert. I hate how Weatern culture insults being an introvert. But not extrovert, who I think can learn some things from us.