Photofinish Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 So I have this friend. I'll call her T. T is a very religious girl . She loves god and it's her passion. T is in college with me and has a friend (Let's call him Y.) that she has been on and off with for about 7 years. They arent together but act like if they are. They're a whole other story. T hooked up on of our friends to her friend. That's great and all but the way she acts around said guy is weird. I saw them cuddling while watching a movie in one of the rooms in my school... They also say things like "If you weren't with my friend I would've asked you out". I think she once reminded him she had a crush on him. (This is one of her bestfriend's boyfriends) Every time another guy comes into her life she always says "I have Y" Here is where things get weird. She was dating this guy from my school for a bit. She ended up cheating on him and had oral sex with Y. (Shes a virgin and is waiting until marriage ) . She always bragged about this to other people in school because most people dont like him . I always found it...strange. She always justified it because she says shes going to marry Y or whatever. This was more then a year ago I believe. I love T. I really do. Shes such a close friend to me and she has really helped me out thorough tough times. I...just dont feel like I can trust her around my boyfriend. Is that weird? I dont mind leaving both of them alone because I trust my boyfriend but is it bad that I wouldnt be surprised if she crossed the line with my boyfriend? Before me and my bf got together she would always ask to walk home with him (They live in the same direction) . I became suspicious because sometimes she wanted him to leave early to walk her home . It doesnt matter anymore however... I dont like the feeling of not being able to trust a friend. Makes me feel a little sick Can I trust her? I dont think shell go after my boyfriend at all really but it bothers me that she acts this way. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Your friend does not have good boundaries and she isn't respecting her friendship with the gf of the guy. I can see why you have a problem with that, I would as well. I don't think you should trust her fully. Is her guy friend's gf aware of what is going on? Are you friends with her as well? If she's in the dark and everyone else is aware of what is going on then I feel really sorry for her because nobody is being a true friend to her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 She doesn't sound trustworthy. Plus she's using her religion in an odd way regarding sex and waiting for marriage considering that oral is more intimate than run-of-the-mill intercourse. Do you get the feeling that she thinks as long as she's a virgin she can do anything with any guy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 She sounds as if she regrets oral with Y but then sometimes talks like she doesnt. It's very strange. I dont know if her friend knows. I know that the friend's bf isnt really the most loyal guy either and makes strange comments too. Today he was talking about having a threesome with some couple... I dont know if he was joking or not. I remember when I had a thing for my now BF I told her not to snap chat him or add him. She promised but added him anyways and began sending the same pics she would send to me, to him. Once I was sorta seeing her friend too and I felt like she went out of her way to talk to him more because I was seeing him. I barely hear about him now.... I feel weird when she hugs my BF hello. I dont mind if anyone else does it but when she does it...it's weird.... I trust my BF. I feel like maybe she just likes the attention . Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 I say dump her. There's really nothing worse than a friend who goes behind your back trying to steal guys you like. Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 (edited) not every friend has to be a BFF for life, or even a BFF. you can have various people in your life at various stages of friendship and trust. if you feel - based on your intuition or experiences around her - that she is not completely trustworthy, then you take steps to lessen the degree of trust within the friendship. you tell her less, you certainly never talk about your boyfriend to/with her, you don't tell her everything personal and private, and etc. she just goes down a level in the friendship ranking. there is no need to eliminate her altogether, but start to invite her around less, don't leaver her alone w/your boyfriend, etc. you could also just voice your displeasure and tell her straight "i don't think it's appropriate for you to hug X, he is my boyfriend after all" - you run the risk of upsetting her, but at least you speak your mind and she knows where you stand. it's better than harboring ill feelings you're stewing about Edited February 3, 2015 by newmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 i agree that you should be open and honest with her.....i have twice had best friends sleep with my partners...the fact is though i blamed my partners more...after it happened i lost more than trust....i lost best friends..i lost relationships.......and thats actually a good thing........ because they werent truly my friends at all.....dotn harbor doubt...get it out...be gentle be firm and say what upsets you .......hiding resentment festers...so dont hide it...be honest as you wish her to be honest..if she is your friend she will make an effort to make sure the friendship is not harmed and will listen to you......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 You are young now but you will one day realise that the saying that some friends are there for a reason, a season etc... is very true. Life will move you both on. As for trusting her around your man. Don't. Her behavior suggests that she is what is known as a "prick tease" and she is going down a very dangerous road... She sounds very insecure! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I really do love this girl as a friend though, outside from boys shes pretty awesome Update: My boyfriend doesnt care if I go into his phone. I dont look thru his messages and I feel that he should respect his privacy more. I usually just look thru his news feed for fun. I pressed his messenger out of curiosity (I shouldnt xD) I saw she had messaged him a few days ago asking him if he remembered some candy they use to sell in elementary school (They went to the same elementary school) He kinda seenzoned her at the end after like 4 messages. It was weird lol. I hate this feeling. I really dont want to throw her away as a friend. My friends are basically my family ... Link to post Share on other sites
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