It has always been hard for me to make friends.

[E-Squared]

Growing up, I remember it was hard for me to make friends and I often wondered if there was something wrong with me because some people didn't want to talk to me. I would see people talking to each other and getting along with each other without much effort being put in.

 

Now I get along with people, yes. People have told me that I am a good guy and all that stuff, but some of the time, I can't understand why it may seem easy for people to make friends while with me, I seem to have to put in some kind of effort. I see a person joking with others, but with me, I only get jokes from so few of people, if any. I can even say that in recent memory, a person who I thought I got along with well somehow can't bear my presence or seems annoyed when I am around.

 

In the past, a good friend of mine wanted me to try making friends so that I can get out of the house because he wanted me not to be home all the time. I can understand that, but at the same time, talking with people to try making friends is more difficult for some than one might think. Plus, I was a little upset with him because he had a bit of issue with me being home on a Friday or Saturday night when I should have been out there doing something. I know he tried to help me and that's cool, but at the same time, I kind of felt like he was nagging me to make friends when in reality, friendships sort of just happen. They can't be forced. Of course, I was never the most social person out there, especially when working, I mainly have lunch alone.

 

Pretty much the main circle of friends I have and do things with are my cousin, her fiance and her fiance's long-time friend, all of whom I get along with really well. I don't mind if it's just a trio or quartet, it's good enough for me.

 

However, even when I am friendly with some people, it kind of hurts when I realize that I don't matter to some people. It almost makes me wonder if I am just not a likeable person or something, or just don't have the charm to draw because some of the time, I don't have people initiating conversations with me. I am confident enough, but at the same time, I wonder if I am just not that likeable or charming.

[Atticus9292012]

This may the corniest thing you have ever heard, but pick up a book...."How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I know everyone on here is going to laugh at me, but I read that book in college and it is truth. You make friends by being a friend. Showing an interest in someone. Saying hi. You have to open the door and people will click with you or they won't. When I am new at a job or somewhere I don't know people, I say hi whenever I can. Offer to do favors. Pay attention to details....like if a coworker of mine likes starbucks, and I going...offer to buy them a coffee. I mean I know it may sound corny, but you get friends by being a friend. You have to have a sincere interest in others. Be open. Smile often. People are attracted to fun, warm, and genuine people. That is the best advice I can give.

[Broom]

This may the corniest thing you have ever heard, but pick up a book...."How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I know everyone on here is going to laugh at me, but I read that book in college and it is truth. You make friends by being a friend. Showing an interest in someone. Saying hi. You have to open the door and people will click with you or they won't. When I am new at a job or somewhere I don't know people, I say hi whenever I can. Offer to do favors. Pay attention to details....like if a coworker of mine likes starbucks, and I going...offer to buy them a coffee. I mean I know it may sound corny, but you get friends by being a friend. You have to have a sincere interest in others. Be open. Smile often. People are attracted to fun, warm, and genuine people. That is the best advice I can give.

 

 

Sorry, but that is a way to get fake friends of convenience. These people will use you up and suck you dry.

[Atticus9292012]

I have friends I've had for ten plus years and being a friend has always gotten me friends.

[preraph]

It takes effort to make new friends. And it takes effort to keep them. You do have to work at being entertaining, even if it's not in your nature. Of course, not everyone will like you. Only a select few will. But no one likes someone who simply makes no effort to be act interested, have interesting things to talk about, which comes from getting out and doing activities. No one wants to hear a recluse talk about their imaginary video game life. Get out and volunteer at something or take a part-time job that is fun and gives you something to talk about. Keep up with news and local happenings and if you're not interested in people, then you better learn to fake it because no one has any reason to engage with someone who isn't interested or at least acting interested. Once you get past that threshold, you can find things in common or do things together so you have grounds for a friendship.