Tailor2000 Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I used to be the guy that told my friends that it didn't matter if I got in touch with them, that they should know Im always there for them if they need anyhing, I'll always have their back. I always told them that they shouldn't complain or get upset if I didn't get in touch, if they wanted anything, they should get in touch! Mostly, I've stuck true to that. And I see the Facebook updates that talk about friends being able to go a long time without speaking and never question the friendship. But it's only just recently I've discovered how isolated we all are as human beings. We have perhaps our family right there in our faces and we rarely have anything to do with anybody else. I'm trying to reach out, Im trying to keep in touch and touch other peoples lives, get involved, try and help them, talk to them, get to know them. It's paying off a little bit. But I've been getting upset that this new group of friends aren't reaching out to me. They're doing exactly what Im did, keeping themselves to themselves and expecting me to get in touch. They keep saying they're my friends. But if I don't do anything, and they don't do anything, how do you become friends? Do I have a different meaning of friendship? Why am I more bothered about whether these relatively new friends get in touch with me, compared to not really being too bothered about my more longstanding closer friends? My take on it, comes down to trust. I am still establishing trust with these newer people, I want them to prove themselves. I draw a line between functional groups like work, or book clubs etc and have this notion friends have to meet socially as well, outside of those functional groups, and it has to be authentic. Don't say it if you don't mean it, don't act like it if you're not sincere. So when a friendship is a very stop start friendship at the beginning, it's hard for me to build that trust. Why? I don't know. Does anyone else have this sort of dilemma and what to do about it? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 How do you know the new group of friends? And for how long? What have you done together in the past and who initiated it? Link to post Share on other sites
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