objob1994 Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 So it was New Years' Day and we there was a group of us. We'd had a meal and then went to a club, all were tipsy drunk at best. I explained to her how we'd probably drift after uni (sort of, we gotta make the most of it (!)) because I'm moving 200 miles back to my hometown while she's staying in our uni town and I guess gonna try and build something up here. I said this in a friendship way. We've been close for about a year or so. I'm not the typical mr. nice guy, I often tease her etc. and have never been 'close' in a normal sense, it's more of just company every now and then. [i personally am scared of a relationship because I worry of being of importance to someone. I have met my dad a handful of times and even aged 20, I still look back and wonder if I'd do the same. But anyway, this is irrelevant and I don't talk about that side of myself tbh.] We were dancing and then suddenly she turned around and started kissing my neck. Soft, but strong kisses from my cheek down. I was a bit startled, but turned on at the same time and responded by giving her a kiss on her lips. We then just danced the rest of the night (an hour or so). My question is, was this her saying she's attracted to me? Do you think there's more to this? It was a bit surreal as I never thought she saw me in this light. But I must admit, until the summer just gone I didn't really take care of my body much. I hit the gym over the summer and went 5 times a week and lost about a stone. I by no means have the leanest body (still a little podge but I have been commented on bigger arms etc.) Do you think this may have played a role? I've also given her less attention as I've been genuinely more busy with uni work and there's only so much small talk I'll have with someone. Thanks for any opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
toscaroscura Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Funny, I thought you were another girl until I got to the "bigger arms" comment. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm still unclear. But YES, she's attracted to you. However, she might have also been drunk and now regretting it because she doesn't want to make things weird for you two. Do you like her? Edit: man, looks like I grazed right over the "mr. nice guy" comment. I'm tired, goodnight everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
katlover Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Hey man girls are just like guys.. They get horny at times too. I'm sure she was attracted to you from the start. So when her judgement was impaired that night, she couldn't hold it in so she started kissing you. I'm sure she wanted to do more than just kiss you that night . Anyways, you say you don't want to feel of importance to someone. Remember you only live once, might as well make the most of it.. You guys have known each other for a year anyways, so i'm sure you are already an important person to her. It's no big deal really.. When two people care for each other they can have intimate moments. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 She must be attracted to you. I can honestly say I've never done this with a platonic guy friend. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Sounds like you spend your time working out and never considered anyone else but you. This gal friend you know might have had some interest in you but she could only show when she was a bit drunk as you say. How come you didn't ask her while dancing? You had your chance. Why not stop what your doing today and go find her ask her how she feels about you? Before you head off to new location for business venture. Also try to be nice about it. You said you come off as not a nice guy (more macho type). Otherwise drop it and go on your business and work out as usually. Or make a change in your life, but only you can do this! No one can say anything else before you have tried to make contact and communicate with her! Edited January 9, 2015 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 What she did was the equivalent of hitting you upside the head with a 2x4. At a minimum she wanted physical affection from you that night. Whether she likes you or just wanted a ONS for NYE I can't say but I'm floored that you didn't understand that. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Women aren't nearly as focused on bodies as men are, number one. And yes, she was showing you she has romantic feelings. Now, how serious you take this depends on how much she had to drink that night. But you should call her as if you just had a date if you are interested in pursuing this. And you're not your dad. You are you. All you have to do is choose not to make the same mistakes he did or act like he did. Your life is completely at your own control. There isn't anything you have to do in this life except eventually die. And if you want something bad enough you can achieve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author objob1994 Posted January 9, 2015 Author Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) What she did was the equivalent of hitting you upside the head with a 2x4. At a minimum she wanted physical affection from you that night. Whether she likes you or just wanted a ONS for NYE I can't say but I'm floored that you didn't understand that. I doubt the NYE thing made much difference and we were staying at a friend's house. Out of respect for our friend and her parents, nothing of that sort could've/would've happened. There is another guy in our group whom she's had sex with quite a few times but I've always said to her that he's just using her for sex. He never really attempts to chat to her sober, but as soon as he has a bit of alcohol in him he'll go over and be like 'I could go for any other girl in the room but I want you' etc. Now he's a confident lad and it's been going on for a few months now. I'm pretty sure she likes him and wants some kind of relationship, but he doesn't. I don't think he should've said stuff like the above if he wanted sex, I don't think he's been honest. That's why I was so baffled that she started kissing my neck. Unless she's bored of the whole situation... When you say physical affection would me giving her a kiss on her lips have been enough to show her I'm interested as well? Edited January 9, 2015 by objob1994 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Kissing her on the lips, as you did, was better than rejection but since you didn't do anything more & it's a week later, my guess is that now she feels embarrassed because she threw herself at you & you turned her down. If you like her, call her & ask for a date sooner rather than later. The longer this festers the more awkward it will get 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 With OP's second post, now I worry that she may have been trying to make the other guy jealous, since OP said the other guy is cocky and saying things to her like, I could have any girl in this room, which is rude and deserves retribution to some small extent. Still the thing to do is talk to her. Don't apologize for ANYTHING. Just call or text her and say casually, "I had a good time last night and really enjoyed the kiss, even though it caught me off-guard, but it was fun." And then just see what she does next. Does she make an apology? Not good. Does she make an excuse? "I was really drunk." Not good. Or does she just agree and say, "Yeah, I had fun too." In which case, that IS good and you should say "Well, we should get together this weekend," etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author objob1994 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Share Posted January 11, 2015 I'm back at uni and saw her briefly today. To be honest I'm not sure what it was but I'm gonna just let it be, if it happens again I'll take a closer look. What I found strange is normally we look at each other's eyes but she could hardly keep eye contact, this has never been an issue before when speaking to her. She also kept laughing a lot at the most silly past times, like when my phone was broke when we first met at university 2 years ago and she received about 30 texts one after another...but yeah, I don't know what she's doing with my pal so I don't want to get involved tbh, I'm happy being friends until I move back to my hometown to start my next adventure - I don't think I'd want a long distance thing but if something happens when we next get drunk, I'll just go with the flow Link to post Share on other sites
La Trese Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes she at least finds you attractive. I would never make out with a guy friend unless I found him super attractive but thats just me. It doesn't necessarily mean she likes you but there is potential there too. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 She can't make eye contact with you now because she's embarrassed. She thinks you don't like her. If you want to know what's going on between her & your pal, ask him. Since you aren't following up with her & you say you want a friendship only with her& you don't want an LDR once college is over so you don't see long term potential here, just let things be. Unless you are into using your friends next time she gets drunk don't put yourself in a position where she can kiss you because unless you two talk about FWB or something that is not a decision she should be making while drunk & horny. Link to post Share on other sites
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