TabbyHearts Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I have a guy friend whose health I am very concerned about. We've been friends for almost 10 years and I know he's had some problems over the years. He's a big drinker/smoker and there have been times in the past that we were all worried about his emotional stability and the destruction that his lifestyle was causing. Don't get me wrong, he's a highly functional person, smart, hard worker, successful, but he just doesn't take care of himself. I know of some issues from his past which I believe are the reasons he drinks. On NYE I had a party for our friends at my place and towards the end of the night I noticed he had been in the bathroom for a while. He confessed to me that he has been coughing up blood since August. He says he is also passing blood out the other end. This is obviously more than concerning. I remember seeing on TV an alcoholic vomiting blood was diagnosed with throat cancer and died within months. I'm curious as to what could be wrong with him? He claims that he has an appointment for Monday at the doc's office. I offered to go with him for moral support, but he's not replying. I get it, he's scared for his life and more than that, he knows he's going to have to deal with his drinking problem and the underlying issues if he wants to get better. I want to make sure he goes to his appointment and to make sure he gets the right tests/treatments, etc. I just don't think he wants to be "bothered". How can I be involved? Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWoman911 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Im sorry to hear that about your friend. I'm hoping that he gets all of the help he needs to cure whatever illness he has. If I was you and since he's not replying back to you, I would go to his house to visit him. Sometimes a text or voicemail may not be supportive enough for a person.So actually sitting with him one on one and away from everybody is probably best. You've been friends with him for 10 years, so I don't think he's ignoring you on purpose. He probably just don't want to be bothered with anyone,just like you mentioned. But you don't have to go to his appointment to make sure he gets the right tests/treatments,etc.The doctors know what to research for their patients. I truly hope that he has that appointment and actually go. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 You can let him know how much you care about him and that you are worried. Don't over do it - guys don't like that. But show him you care, ask him what time the appt is, ask to meet him for lunch after or dinner after work? He may not have any answers after the appt; may have to wait for test results. Don't harp on him or smother him - fast way to drive a guy running for the hills. But .... tell him in words that you care. That will mean the most to him. Plus, dudes tend to think they can handle anything and nothing is an issue. Hard headed dummies. Link to post Share on other sites
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