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End up feeling like a 3rd wheel when my friend picks up when we go out.


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 30th November 2014, 3:34 PM   #16
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I don't understand how this is even a dilemma. It would be obvious to me the first time this happened that I could not trust my friend for transportation home or to agree to no hook ups. You keep saying she should no how much of an imposition this is but how should she know? You keep going along with it so why should she change anything. YOU are creating the problem by continuing to allow it, not her.


Also I don't understand why you are not more worried about this friends behavior. Not only are unconcerned you seem to encourage it by tagging along. You two are leaving the club at night with virtual strangers and going to a hotel or even to the house of these strangers? That's very dangerous behaviour. I'm not judging your or your friend so your sex lives but leaving a bar with a stranger when you are inebriated is inviting trouble.
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Old 30th November 2014, 6:28 PM   #17
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She doesn't sound like much of a friend. If you still want to see her, keep it to events where she can't screw you over like lunch or a movie.
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Old 30th November 2014, 8:16 PM   #18
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could it be a safety thing? if she is picking up people fairly random then having you nearby is a source of comfort/protection, maybe, if something goes wrong w/the guy?
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Old 1st December 2014, 12:07 AM   #19
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That is true ankla99. I am the one inviting her out to come with me though. Not the other way around.

The second time this happened it made it evidently clear to me she only goes out at night to pick up. Not to just hang out.

I have never encountered this with other friends who are girls that I have gone out with before so gave her the benefit of the doubt the second time we went out. Won't again.

Won't go out with her to bars or clubs so she knows I don't tolerate that ****. It uncomfortable when we even had 2 couples hooking up in the same room. It will be worse with one and another just sitting there. She just does not think about that and just wants to have sex no matter what.

For me when I go out with the girls. I go out to hang out with them. If I pick up bonus! But I don't actively go out looking to like she does and the rest of us get stuck in the awkward position of having to stay in the same room cause there are no more trains, Cabs are too expensive or cause we have drank to much to drive home.

I thought that to newmoon but when I have told her 4 or 5 times that it makes me uncomfortable to be there. She should respect my boundaries. I have never fought anyone in my life not thrown a punch. As if I would be any help in that situation if something bad happened. Hahaha.

I brought up that I don't like getting involved as well cause of safety reasons to! Yet she does not seem to care after she drinks and wants sex.

Straight after telling her I was uncomfortable with it all when she and this guy went looking for rooms she goes and buys condoms. Shakes head. I was like seriously? What if I had no money for a room? I definitely not getting caught up with that bull**** again. I do think she is gonna get herself in trouble if she keeps doing this one day as well.
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Old 1st December 2014, 2:49 PM   #20
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Could do that with my cousin. Good point. But yes when it comes to this I am going to have to set some boundaries and find my own way home. It's to uncomfortable for me in this situation and don't understand why you would even want to hook up with someone while another person is stuck with you.
Since you can do it with your cousin, you do it, but of course be ready to pay for it all yourself when she goes home with someone -- and she can worry about her own ride home.
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Old 1st December 2014, 2:51 PM   #21
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Do you think that what my friend does regarding this is rude though?

When she is drunk and wants to have sex she seems to forget about everything else.

I mean the last time we went out I got stuck with them after there were no trains around.

We went out looking all night for a room. What if there was 1 room available or I had no money for an extra room.

It also pissed me off that I would have had to pay for my own room when she would have gotten one for free lol.

Before that I was in a situation where we both had someone and 1 room. It was still awkward! The guy and I ended up getting the ****s cause we both hated the situation lol. Very uncomfortable for everyone and she still did not care after I spoke to her about it and I almost got into that same situation again. Roll eyes.

This has seriously stopped me from wanting to go out with her at night now. Refusing to share a room with her again as well to.

Sex is a private intimate thing for me.

Pretty desperate if you ask me lol. That you can't get the guy's number and wait till you 2 are alone instead.
There's no reason you can't just refuse to go when she goes or refuse to go with her but just meet here there, arranging your own transport and don't let her use you for that. I mean, it sounds like she just wants a friend to go out with so she doesn't feel awkward while she hangs out and gets picked up. Just don't go along with her once she has the man. You should hire your own transportation, safe driver cousin, and then not agree to share ride or room with her at all. And if that means going out half as often to afford it, that's probably for the best under the circumstances!
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Old 1st December 2014, 3:08 PM   #22
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Why don't you just stop going out with her? Another option would be to bring another friend along so when she hooks up you will still have a companion to party with.
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Old 2nd December 2014, 7:48 PM   #23
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I don't understand why she can't just go to the one night stands place instead?
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Old 4th December 2014, 5:27 AM   #24
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Decided to only go out with her when with a group of people now and to not share a hotel room. If none of this is possible. Then I won't bother going out with her at night at all now and just hang out with her during the day.

I don't want her to feel like she can't pick up if I am around but I don't want to be stuck with her when she does. So coming up wig alternative ways that can work if we go out at night again lol.

Thanks for the advice guys. I am just more surprised she does not seem to care if I am in the same room with her or not or she expects me to wait outside the room while she hooks up or something. Eww.

Definitely want to avoid being in that situation again. Never encountered this before going out with friends.
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