Possible she may have a personality disorder?

[HGirl]

So I recently described how I fell out with an old friend... looking back, I'm beginning to wonder if she has some (albeit mild) form of a personality disorder? Let me explain..

 

1. She gives off the impression she is very independent and strong.

2. She is friendly and funny

3. She is intelligent and engaging

 

 

However over the gradual decline of our friendship, I noticed a few things which have added up and just seem a bit... unusual...

 

1. While she portrays herself as being very independent, she is actually very dependent on men. The whole time I have known her, she has either been with someone or looking for a boyfriend. During her brief periods of singledom, she has been very promiscuous, and seems to take pride in this. In fact it seemed to me to come across as rather pathetic/needy.

 

2. She is actually rather calculating - she sees people as vehicles for her to get her own way/what she wants.

 

3. She has a LOT of secrets. For example, Her boyfriend at the time broke up with her suddenly. I found out a year later she had gone out that night by herself for the sole purpose of finding a guy to sleep with. I later found out she cheated on her boyfriend on other occasions, but managed to not tell a soul until considerable time later.

 

4. She lies a lot, usually to make things advantageous for her.

 

5. She is highly paranoid.

 

6. She is very two-faced - she will be absolutely lovely and charming to someone, but will be extremely vicious behind their back.

 

7. She is highly vindictive - for example, she spread a rumour to make a girls' boyfriend seem sleazy, in retaliation for this girl mentioned she did not approve of ONSs.

 

8. She never shows any remorse and is incapable of taking responsibilty for wrongdoings. Its like she just convinces herself of a different reality. She is also highly hypocritical. When confronted about poor behaviour, she will often turn this on the confrontee, often using guilt to make them question themselves.

 

9.Highly critical of others (usually behind their back). Usually very negative in general, unless she has her happy persona on.

 

I've always thought she was the type of person who had "blinkers" on so to speak. For example it was plainly obvious to everyone that a boyfriend was cheating on her, but she buried her head in the sand completely and refused to confront it, until he dumped her. Its like, she only allows herself to see things how she wants to see them.

 

It has just shocked me how this totally different side to this girl has existed beneath this exterior which is so very different.

 

She had also been extremely manipulative of people and situations - something which I had also not anticipated.

 

How can you tell if someone is just really horrible? or if there are underlying mental health issues there?

[preraph]

You should read this and watch the video for a rundown of a lot of your friends traits. It's not good. You'll probably want to lose her.

 

Dr. Phil, 'Life Code' Author, Reveals How To Spot The Toxic People In Your Life (VIDEO)

[HGirl]

You should read this and watch the video for a rundown of a lot of your friends traits. It's not good. You'll probably want to lose her.

 

Dr. Phil, 'Life Code' Author, Reveals How To Spot The Toxic People In Your Life (VIDEO)

 

Oh she's already gone now! I'm just annoyed it took me so long to fully realise - but then she was so good at hiding her true self, or turning things on me!

[HGirl]

I should also mention, the vast majority of our mutual friends haven't realised what she's like - she has made them think I am the bad guy. It's amazing how she has managed to manipulate/fool so many people.

[preraph]

Well, you may want to copy them on that link. Because I know some people snark about Dr. Phil, but I think this list of his is right on the money and a good guide for red flags on people. You know, she's a con artist.

[xxmusical]

I should also mention, the vast majority of our mutual friends haven't realised what she's like - she has made them think I am the bad guy. It's amazing how she has managed to manipulate/fool so many people.

 

I think sometimes it comes down to how people choose NOT to believe the truth too. They might do that because they value the friendship (or the lack of friendship), or they believe this toxic friend is the "leader" therefore they would always listen to her.