Lernaean_Hydra Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Sorry for the length but I'll add a TL;DR at the end. About 7 weeks or so ago my best friend Sam and I had a falling out. This was not the first time we'd had a spat in our 10+ year friendship (and I've talked about it here before) but after a very loud, protracted argument I realized I just didn't need or want her in my life anymore. She said she didn't want to be friends either so I deleted and BLOCKED any and all phone numbers I had for her (including her fiancee's) and removed, unfriended or blocked she and any family members I was friends with from social media immediately. About 3 weeks later I awoke to a series of phone calls from local numbers I didn't recognize. No one had left a voicemail. I called the number of the most recent missed call but there was no answer. A few minutes later they called back. Lo and behold it was Sam. In her most "disinterested" voice she informed me she was "only" calling to let me know a cousin of mine (Mia) reached out to her on social media looking to get in touch with me. She also claimed that Mia - inexplicably - asked outright if Sam and I were still friends. Now first, I haven't spoken to Mia in several years having cut her off after she stole money from me to feed her drug addiction and Sam knows this. Plus, Mia and Sam never got along so I found it odd that Mia would randomly message her of all people when Mia's own sister is my damn neighbor. If she wanted me she likely would've gone though another relative rather than a girl she never even liked. Nevertheless, I said "ok thanks" and hung up the phone abruptly, having zero interest in talking to her a moment longer than was needed. Prior to our falling out we had discussed the possibility of me selling an old car I'd had to a family member of hers at a discount but nothing was even remotely set in stone. Yet last week again, I got phone calls from unfamiliar numbers. I finally answered and it was Sam (I presume calling from her mom's or sister's phone?). She wanted to know whether I was still interested in selling my car. I told her no, that I'd already sold it and again, hung up the phone. I hadn't sold it but I wanted zero contact with her. This morning I get a text message from a random number. The person said they were contacting me about a car I was selling for $500. I found this extremely suspicious as I'd never advertised the sale of my car ANYWHERE and for that price. I went back through my call logs and lo and behold it was the very same number that Sam had attempted to call me from last week. It's obvious it was Sam just 'testing' me to see if I'd actually sold my car but I'm guessing she figured I wouldn't have the sense to check my call history? In between these instances I've gotten calls from odd numbers late at night but don't bother answering. Only close friends know me for being wide awake at 3AM so I know who it is. Anyway, I'm sick of it. I don't want any contact with this woman. We're not friends anymore and I'm over it. I actually intensely dislike her. yet every few weeks she makes up some bulls*t excuse to reach out. In the past when we fought she'd always somehow manage to "pocket dial" me then hang up in the middle of the night but this is the first time I've ever taken steps to block her completely so she's using new and creative excuses. So I'm torn. A part of me says to just ignore her - even though the bitch doesn't seem to be getting the hint - but another part of me wants to break NC and tell her in no uncertain terms she needs to stay the hell away from me for good. However I know that if I do break NC I'm going to go off and say a bunch of horrible things to her. While this would likely be a surefire way to stop the contact, I don't even want to take things to that level. tl;dr? my former best friend keeps trying to initiate contact with me and I don't know whether to keep ignoring her or break NC and set her straight. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I think you need to block her and leave her blocked. She's playing nasty games with you. She's not your friend anymore. Do not do business with her either. Just block her out. She's trying to get your attention and apparently she doesn't care if it's negative attention or not, and who needs that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HurtZ Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Ya, she seems like maybe she is playing games. Maybe she feels bad about the fight and is trying to find any excuse to talk to you? If you are really adamant about never being friends again then instead of blocking her I would just be an adult about it and tell her straight up that you don’t want to have any sort of contact with her again, even if it be through other people and hope that she understands why. And just control yourself and don't get angry or upset. Just be an adult. If she doesn’t then maybe get a restraining order. She could be the obsessive type. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
MCGar Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Change your number. I know it seems drastic but it really isn't that much of a hassle if you preplan a little. Just text all your contacts your new number and update your number on your accounts. She is looking for attention, be it positive or negative. She's looking to slide back into the dysfunctional relationship like before...or if that doesn't work she is looking for some nice drama attention from you. If she finds your new number then have a Lawyer send her a no contact letter that says that you do not want contact from her or by her through a third party. But my advice is not not feed the drama llama yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lernaean_Hydra Posted October 30, 2014 Author Share Posted October 30, 2014 Change your number. I know it seems drastic but it really isn't that much of a hassle if you preplan a little. Just text all your contacts your new number and update your number on your accounts. Yeah, that's a bit too extreme. I've had the same number for about six years and I'm bad about storing numbers (I can usually remember them by heart on sight) so it'd be a hell of a daunting task of finger crossing just hoping they'd all get my texts in time. There aren't even any more numbers available in my (apparently coveted) area code so that's definitely not what I'm going to do. Those are steps I'd have to take if the calls turned malicious or threatening. She is looking for attention, be it positive or negative. She's looking to slide back into the dysfunctional relationship like before...or if that doesn't work she is looking for some nice drama attention from you. If she finds your new number then have a Lawyer send her a no contact letter that says that you do not want contact from her or by her through a third party. But my advice is not not feed the drama llama yourself. Now this I agree with, especially the bolded portion. And you're totally right about not feeding the drama. I guess I should just keep going forward with NC and hope she eventually gets bored or reality sets in. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 You don't have to break NC to tell her to stop contacting you. Wait until she contacts you again, then tell her to stop. You don't have to justify it or explain anything to her, so there's no need to say horrible things to her. Just keep it simple and straightforward - "Do not ever contact me again in any way. I'm completely serious about this. Goodbye." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 I would say stick with NC and only worry if she contacts you again. Have a pre-planned statement scripted so you don't blow-up at her. keep it short and direct. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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