pygora1994 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 This friendship is very complicated. I think we both like each other and care about each other, but because of the circumstances of how it all started things have gotten rocky recently. For about three months we have been friends and have been very close. we texted each other almost everyday and we hung out a couple times a month. Recently however she has been pulling back from our friendship, telling me that she doesn't trust me and that she doesn't know what to do. Initially our friendship started because she had been dating her best friendship, which was also my ex. After they broke up (the relationship lasted about three months) we started talking again. I strongly suspect that this was only a rebound relationship from him since he started dating her immediately after we broke up. He identifies as gay, so it complicated things for her. After a rocky couple of months she mostly repaired her friendship with Him. I know she still has feelings for him, but she is trying to not let it affect her friendship with him. I have been supportive of her working on her friendship with him, and I try not to say anything negative about him. I don't talk to my ex anymore, and I am pretty sure he hates me for how ugly it got between us. When we broke up, I had a hard time, and said and did some inappropriate things (nothing illegal or extreme, mostly just e-mails and letters). we talked a little after he broke up with him, but he retreated and we didn't repair our initial friendship. Its been several month since I last heard from him. Because of the way things went down between my ex and I, she claims she doesn't trust me. She thinks I have been a great friend, and have been there for her, so she feels ****ty for feeling this way. She feels torn between us, even though I have stated I am not asking her to chose between the two of us, and I only want everyone to get along. I am not sure where she is at this point. She wants to sit down and talk about things sometime in the near future, but school obligations are keeping her extremely busy. She says she needs time to put her thoughts and order, and put it in a way so I understand. I don't know what to expect when we finally get a chance to talk, but I am fearing the worst. I don't know If I am over thinking it or not. I do care about her a great deal, and I want this friendship to work, but I feel like things are beyond my control at this point. Its a mess, its complicated, but I am beyond my depth of experience here. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 No telling what she's heard from him. I honestly think the more passive you are about the whole thing, just leaving her free to do whatever she wants to on it, will dispel the most distrust. If you get too into the details or trying to convince her of anything, she may become distrustful. Just say, Hon, it's up to you. I understand we have a bit of a tangled vince, I haven't talked to him in seven months, but you do whatever you have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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