Am I being unreasonable with her?

[d.curran89]

My friend was with her ex-boyfriend for a few years. I thought it was weird when they first got together - she liked someone else at the time and he'd just been a one night stand. She also became official with him at the same time two of her friends got boyfriends, after becoming upset that she was the only single one.

 

She got with him pretty early on when I first met her, so I never knew her being single really.

 

He ended up being a scumbag and cheated on her, and eventually left her for another woman.

 

My friend appeared pretty devastated. She went out and had a lot of one night stands. Thing is, she was a lot more fun too. I saw more of her, she was always up for going out and doing things.

 

She claimed to enjoy these one night stands, but often the guys weren't very nice to her (one refused to even get her a glass of water), they rarely ever contacted her afterwards (though she attempted to contact them) and often they were too drunk to even get it up. Her scumbag ex boyfriend was reluctant to have sex with her in the last few months (because he was sleeping with another woman at the time) plus combined with a number of guys not being able to perform, I don't see how that couldn't have had SOME impact on her self esteem.

 

One of these one night stands eventually does lead to somewhere. (I've moved away for a bit at this point). He is a lot more keen than she is. He comes up every couple of weekends and eventually they become a couple after a few months. The first time I see her after they become official, she tells me she doesn't even like him that much and that she found him annoying (to be honest, their personalities seem to clash a lot). At the time I was taken aback as to why she was going out with him at all.

 

Ever since I've felt that she has ditched me (they've been going out a year now and I now live with her). when I came for visits, she'd go off with him and leave me alone.

 

Today has annoyed me because she's spent the whole weekend with him - it's been a nice day and I've asked her to do something, but she's with him.

 

I guess i'd feel better if I thought she actually liked him - but because she told me she didn't from the beginning, it feels like i'm being ditched for someone she doesn't even like that much, and is with for convenience.

 

Any thoughts? Am I being unreasonable?

 

Having been her friend single, I much prefer her that way. She is intelligent, has a good job etc. so I don't see why she feels she needs to be with someone? Looking back, it was like the series of one night stands was her way of trying to find a new boyfriend, and she ended up settling for one despite finding him irritating, for the sake of having one.