Dolphin212 Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 I have a close friend who confuses me. She is in a relationship with a man (unhappy and toxic relationship with a lot of problems incl no intimacy), however I suspect she may be bi (I am very straight and she knows that). More often than not she is very clingy with me, hugs me really tight when she sees me and always tells me I smell nice. When we have been out in social groups she sticks to me like glue or if I am talking to others she turns up beside me - even segregating me from others. There was an instance a few months ago where a man commented that I had nice boobs - my friend walked right up to me, grabbed one of my boobs firmly and said "she does have great boobs". She recently told me that everyone thinks she is gay. I said that was odd as she is in a relationship with a man. She replied "I don't correct them either". When I asked her why she doesn't set people straight, she said "it's none of their business, so what if I was". For a while I put her affection and clingyness down to the issues she has had with her relationship and depression and thought she was seeking some comfort, but I have had a number of people comment to me that they believe my friend is in love with me. Would really appreciate your opinion on this one Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dolphin212 Posted August 15, 2013 Author Share Posted August 15, 2013 Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 16, 2013 Share Posted August 16, 2013 It does seem like she flirts with you a little bit, but that could be harmless and just her personality. If she's making you uncomfortable and you want to remain friends, set some boundaries with her. Like in the boob-grabbing scenario, you could have taken her aside and told her that it made you feel uncomfortable and to please not touch you like that, and while you're on the subject inform her that her hugs are overly affectionate. And you can tell her (in a separate conversation) that when you're out together, you'd like to be able to mingle and have conversations with people on your own, and encourage her to do the same. You can frame it as you simply wanting to get better at socializing in group situations or something. It almost doesn't matter if she's in love with you or not. You're not interested in her that way. I think setting boundaries like this can make that clear. If she can't accept those boundaries, then the friendship probably shouldn't continue. Link to post Share on other sites
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