How can I my extremely socially awkward friend (28)?

[Vzbljesk]

My friend and I are both 28 and have known each other since we were five years old. I have always watched out for him, because he's so small and fragile, he was always picked on in school.

 

Our friendship has started to become frustrating to me, because of his totally obliviousness to social norms, which actually seem to be getting worse. He's never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl, ever but he has this domineering girl he hangs out with who humiliates him in public by cursing at him, and at me and my other friends.

 

He and his lady friend always watch My Little Ponies together, and it's started to become weird, they make fan art of Ponies kissing and have had them rejected from several galleries in my town.

 

On top of that, I have to cut his hair and pick out which clothes he should buy. Every time I see him I have to tell him his hair is not combed right, and he looks homeless. He never brushes his teeth and they are yellow, he always wears the same two shirts at every event. He never looks at my friends, and he directs all comments to whomever he is addressing to me, like Raj in Big Bang Theory. He had never touched alcohol until he was 21 and he used to tell me I would get alcohol poisoning from one beer, he's never smoked a cigarette or pot or anything. But now he drinks all the time, he buys wine and drinks it from the bottle

 

He still lives at home to take care of his alcoholic father, he is really out of shape, and eats at odd times, like lunch at 1030 every morning and dinner at 4. When we are at an event involving food, he finishes before everybody and frequently has stuff all over his face until someone tells him to wipe it off. Then he angrily wipes it off, like the world is out to get him and he's SO FRUSTRATED the sandwich is not cooperating. Afterward his face is always red from the napkin rubbing so hard, and he never even gets to sauce off his face.

 

Anyhow, I need to tell him finally after all these years that I can't continue to be his social fairy god mother and he has to take some responsibility for his smell, looks, actions, hair, clothes, jobs, etc.

 

I'd love some advice.

Edited July 6, 2013 by Vzbljesk