Friendship over?? Am i over reacting??

[siankat]

Hi all

 

I have been friends with someone for the last 8 years who has recently taken a turn for the worse. Because i met her at probably her happiest time of her life i thought she was pretty sorted and that the events that came after were more blips than characteristic to her person. These events include self harm (7 years ago), emotionally abusive relationship - 4 years, and now a physically mentally emotionally abusive relationship of the last 6 months - with a man who has sadistically sexually assaulted women in the past (by his own admission).

 

I have always been there for her although i do try and understand i end up always telling her what to do by bringing clarity as to why she does what she does. But of course, she goes back to him etc I know ppl do what they feel they have to at the time.

 

Bearing in mind this is after 8 years of this kind of friendship i am at my wits end. It's like she enjoys and feeds the drama and deludes herself into thinking that she can help this man, that as they are kindred spirits his mental issues are similar to hers but that deep down his intention is love he just doesnt know how to show it etc like she does. As if she is a step ahead of him and therefore can help him. That is bs. It is only now in this relationship that she knew how doomed her last union was all the while at the time saying how 'he was the one' and 'it's forever' 'i'll never feel again for anyone like i do him'.

 

I have my issues i need to keep under control and i guess i resent that being around her pulls me down as i struggle to keep going throughout my hangups and past bad habits and not repeat. Her situation is awful now as she is self abusing, being abused by him, police are involved as hes accused her of attempted murder (which is a lie), and he lost her her job, stalks her, and she says she doesnt want it but then 'oh he found me, i wasnt looking for him, and we went out for dinner' wtf!!!

 

I'm so sick of this friendship and right now i called her asking for a number of something so i can book, as she wants me to come visit her in her town for her birthday and she shouted at me saying shes at the police station with the psychologist (when she should be at work). I am so fed up of years of this and i feel like now, after all she has been through, she knows what is right, based on her own experience, but she justifies everything that is going on even though she knows things are not ok but she thinks the answer is to stay. I wonder if she doesn't enjoy the drama.

 

I've never been this angry at her and im not even sure why i am.

Anyone been through the same or similar?