Acting Like Everything Is Okay

[rio682]

Generally speaking, when a friend does something that hurt your feelings, and this time you play it cool and act like everything is okay, will they become distant?

 

Also, when is it too late to confront them to tell them how I feel?

Edited May 1, 2013 by rio682

[ForeverHopeful1]

What did this friend do to you?

 

I think keeping the lines of communication open would be best. If someone hurts you, you should be able to tell them what hurt you openly. In doing so, your friend should be able to listen to you and acknowledge your pain. They should not push you away. I have been hurt by friends before and being able to talk it out was great because we both learned why I was upset, and why they did what they did. Most people are not malicious douche bags and what I have learned is when my friends have hurt me, they didnt mean to and were very sorry for doing what they did.

 

It just depends on what it was. If they slept with my partner, there is no forgiving and there is never a point at which I would be friends again. If it was something they said, or something they didnt know they were doing to upset me, I would speak to them and try to get to the bottom of it, so we could get back to being friends.

 

It really depends on what happened though. Some things are forgivable and worth talking about, while other things are friend deal breakers. So what happened? Can you explain a little more, so we can help a little more?

[rio682]

Here's what happened

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/390768-mixed-behavior-how-do-i-interpret

 

He did speak of a “rain check,” but he didn’t reach out to me at all like the last time. I’m bummed because I took off work, and he just said he had to work the whole time. He did this right after I asked him to stay, so it doesn’t make sense, and we’ve slept together before. I’ve seen him lie to avoid hurting my feelings and when he doesn’t know how to respond.

 

So far, I’ve been playing it cool, and it hurts. I’m kind of pretending like this didn’t happen because I don’t want to rock the boat. He hasn’t been responding, and I think he’s confused by all these friendly messages. I also remember he kind of backed away one time when I told him how hurt I was.

 

I just don’t get it because we talked about how much we wanted to see each other beforehand.

 

I think we both have difficulty being open. I’m thinking he simply had to be home that night and didn’t know how to break it to me. I feel I haven’t been straightforward, and I’m thinking he got confused by my mixed messages.

 

In conclusion, it’s been 2 months, and I don’t know what’s going on. I go home every night and cry because I feel like there’s nothing I can do at this point. I feel like I have no voice because I didn’t use it to begin with.

[rio682]

I just wish I could SAY SOMETHING