Inflikted Posted December 24, 2012 Share Posted December 24, 2012 Some of you may be familiar with my situation over the last few months. Basically, at my part time job, over the summer, I hit it off really well with this girl that also works part time. We were connecting really well, and having a great time. I developed a crush on her, and asked her out. She turned me down, but we stayed okay. I've... struggled with my feelings for her since then, but I think I've finally put them to rest once and for all, and I'd really like to be good friends with her, especially because she's likely to be leaving for a new job in the very near future (and I don't have very many "friends", let alone "good friends"). But over the last 2-3 months, things have... changed. She's taken a liking to this new, older manager guy that started working at our store shortly after I asked her out. I suspect she's attracted to him (though he has a long term girlfriend, and she seems respectful of that), and whenever they work together, they seem to spend every waking moment together. She's also super chummy with this other guy we work with, that she used to date (but things ended badly between them because he was dating another girl at the same time). And it kind of seems like she's distanced herself from me quite a lot. We still have our moments together, and she's still fun to talk to and be around when I do get some time with her. It just sort of bugs me, because over the summer, it really felt like we were becoming good friends, and I liked that. I haven't met anyone that I could consider a "best friend" in ages, and then there she was. At the time, I really felt like I was her "go-to" guy. But now, I feel like to her, the pecking order is: 1) The manager guy, 2) her ex-boyfriend, and at best, I'm *maybe* third place. If I'm working with her and either of those two guys, she and them spend 98% of the time together, and I'm lucky if I can have a brief conversation with her. I just don't really understand what happened... I mean, if she's got a crush on that manager guy, I can understand her spending time with him. But why is her ex-boyfriend winning out over me, all of a sudden? I know me having asked her out could potentially be weird, but hell, she actually dated him and had a bad breakup with him. How is that less "weird" and "uncomfortable" than spending time with a guy who only asked her out and got turned down? I dunno, I was just really hoping I could strike up a friendship with her, because I wanted to be able to see her and talk to her even after she leaves for a new job. But I just don't understand why what we had over the summer and early fall has seemingly been pulled out from under me. I feel bad, because I really wanted a good friend that I could talk to about anything, and I now I wonder if, for some reason, she suddenly wants nothing to do with me...? :/ Link to post Share on other sites
RedHead33 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Sorry to tell you but she just moved on to someone else. It is hard making new honest friends but she is not the one. She is playing games with other guys and if she really wanted to be your friend she wouldn't act the way she's acting. We live and learn, ignore her, be open to meeting new people and making new friends. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
MsSmurf Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 OP, it could be that she does still consider you a friend but she is trying to establish some distance so as not to lead you on. You did say you had a crush on her, asked her out, and she declined. Well some guys misinterpret friendly actions and then she would be in the position of having to give you the we're-just-friends speech again and hurt your feelings. That isn't fun and perhaps she's experienced that before and is trying to handle it differently this time. If you really just want to be friends then you can't be upset about her having other friends, other interests, crushes, ex bf's, etc. Friends aren't always joined at the hip, sometimes its a see-ya-when-I-see-ya kind of thing. I know it's hard to meet new people and find compatible friends, but you need to get out and try. You can't expect her to be your one and only friend especially when she's making it clear that isn't what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inflikted Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 Yeah, no, I never expected to be her one and only, joined at the hip best friend, it just feels like over the last month or two, things have really been taking a nosedive. I just miss when we used to spend more time together and talk more, and with her likely leaving in the next month or two, I had hoped I'd get to enjoy the remaining time I have left with her, but it seems like I probably won't get to see or talk to her much anymore before she leaves. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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