I need a guy to answer this...

[rockstarmusician]

I need a guy to help me with a little bit of a dilemma that I have right now. I really like this guy at school but I'm not sure if he likes me back. Last night though, we were watching the hockey game and we were both sitting on the couch. He sat about 1foot away from me. I know that sounds crazy - but I thought I read something about that somewhere. He was also very touchy-feely last night too. Help!

[dyermaker]

Part of the fear of rejection is rooted in the delusion that if you're rejected, it somehow reflects poorly on you.

 

You're a girl. You're sexual. You're attracted to a guy. You let the guy know of your interest.

 

if ($guy == " interested "){

You now have the beginning of a relationship, and you got what you wanted.

}elseIf($guy != "interested"){

You now have cured yourself, ideally, of your curiousity with his interest, and 
can move on with your head up high knowing that you didn\'t waste too much 
time on something that wouldn\'t make you happy.

}

[rockstarmusician]

OK, explain to me in english!

[sportsloving]

Tell the guy you are interested in him

 

Ok, so I am not a guy, but how is that for english?

[average guy]

next time he sits close to you, jump up, say "hey, there's not enought room on the cough for both of us" and sit back down on his lap. you'll instaly know whether he likes you or not

 

cheers,

 

A.G.

[rockstarmusician]

haha!

[faux]

Originally posted by dyermaker

Part of the fear of rejection is rooted in the delusion that if you're rejected, it somehow reflects poorly on you.

 

You're a girl. You're sexual. You're attracted to a guy. You let the guy know of your interest.

 

if ($guy == " interested "){

You now have the beginning of a relationship, and you got what you wanted.

}elseIf($guy != "interested"){

You now have cured yourself, ideally, of your curiousity with his interest, and 
can move on with your head up high knowing that you didn\'t waste too much 
time on something that wouldn\'t make you happy.

}

 

I agree with that you say, Dyer, but I wonder why you used an ElseIf when a simple Else would have done. I also wonder why you used an If...Else conditional statement when you could have used a ternary operator:

 

 

/*
ask_if_guy_is_interested() would take the guy's response, and evaluate to True or False, assuming he would give a "yes" or "no" answer.
*/

(ask_if_guy_is_interested($guys_response)) ? begin_relationship() : he_is_not_interested();

 

If the guy is asked if he has an interest, and he does in fact have an interest, then she can takes the steps to possibly begin a relationship (begin_relationship();). If, however, he has no interest, she at least now knows that he does not fancy her, and can take the steps she feels necessary (he_is_not_interested();).

 

Your example proved your point, and is correct. Well, I still must say that the ElseIf ought to have been an Else. I did not do this to make fun of, or pick on anyone. I did this because I love PHP and started to get a bit out of practice with it. I wanted to see if I could condense this into more basic terms.

[dyermaker]

I'm quite aware, but the elseIf was for future version portability. For example, what if $guy ended up being "quasi_interested" or something? There needs to be some room for future versions, relationship answers are usually pretty ambigious anyways.

 

Additionally, I didn't think it was neccessary to write a function, which you'd have to do with all of this begin_relationship(); kinda stuff. Perhaps a veteran such as yourself would be capable of writing such scripts, but I lack the experience to write an optimized function that would handle all of the billions of variables and operations of the female mind--plus think of the seeding you'd have to do for PMS and stuff... I'm not experienced enough, as a programmer nor a man--perhaps I'll wait a few more years, until I've been around the block a few times, or at least until PHP6 or PHP7 comes out, I think they should really package relationship functions with some future releases, their possibilities would be endless. But with the fickleness of humanity, we'd have to write something in there that actually SLOWS the logic of the programming, making it more semantic and less optimized--and I'm sure that defies some of your discordianist commandments, yes?

 

mysql_query("INSERT INTO 'table_of_nitpickers' (name, reason) VALUES ('faux', 'nitpicking my code ')");

[moimeme]

I love this!

[faux]

Originally posted by dyermaker

I'm quite aware, but the elseIf was for future version portability. For example, what if $guy ended up being "quasi_interested" or something? There needs to be some room for future versions, relationship answers are usually pretty ambigious anyways.

 

Additionally, I didn't think it was neccessary to write a function, which you'd have to do with all of this begin_relationship(); kinda stuff. Perhaps a veteran such as yourself would be capable of writing such scripts, but I lack the experience to write an optimized function that would handle all of the billions of variables and operations of the female mind--plus think of the seeding you'd have to do for PMS and stuff... I'm not experienced enough, as a programmer nor a man--perhaps I'll wait a few more years, until I've been around the block a few times, or at least until PHP6 or PHP7 comes out, I think they should really package relationship functions with some future releases, their possibilities would be endless. But with the fickleness of humanity, we'd have to write something in there that actually SLOWS the logic of the programming, making it more semantic and less optimized--and I'm sure that defies some of your discordianist commandments, yes?

 

mysql_query("INSERT INTO 'table_of_nitpickers' (name, reason) VALUES ('faux', 'nitpicking my code ')");

 

When one programmer nitpicks another programmer's code, he does it out of fondness, and is simply attempting to show other approaches to the same problem. Everyone does things differently. I simply approached things from a different angle. I tend to find that organizing my scripts into functions makes more semantic sense and provides for portability and easy future expansion. At compiler level it makes little difference in the end.

 

So far as that ElseIf goes, I'm going to have to at the very least insist that it is quite unconventional in the way you used it. I was thinking of using a Switch statement, but opted for a simpler ternary expression. If you had a good purpose for putting the ElseIf there, however, I can't argue with that. We have to approach things in ways that work best for us individually.

 

I'll give it to you though, as a compiler error is not generated from an If...ElseIf conditional statement.

 

Discordianism is not supposed to make any sense. It's all about confusion. Messing up logic is what Eris would have loved. Also, we cannot eat hot dog buns. I think my Discordianism is just a phase, however.

[dyermaker]

When one programmer nitpicks another programmer's code, he does it out of fondness, and is simply attempting to show other approaches to the same problem.

Yes, I'm just teasing(you); You don't have to worry about being put in the database, I wasn't actually connected to the database. Oh, and I didn't escape the quotes.

At compiler level it makes little difference in the end.

It's so strange how uptight people are about milliseconds, honestly people argue about operation times for way longer than it's worth

I'll give it to you though, as a compiler error is not generated from an If...ElseIf conditional statement.

Yeah, but parse errors would have been generated by my lack of semicolons

[Donal]

Guys just use switch/cases.

 

switch ($boy) {

case: 'interested':
print 'You now have the beginning of a relationship, and you got what you wanted.';

break;

case: 'notinterested':

print 'You now have cured yourself, ideally, of your curiousity with his interest, and  
can move on with your head up high knowing that you didn't waste too much 
time on something that wouldn't make you happy.';

break;

}