Friends and Reconciliation after Affair

[xxxV]

Hi

 

I had an Affair 1 year ago. Moved out. Almost got divorced. But luckily came back to my senses and have been reconciling since March.

 

This is an issue marginally connected with my relationship and with my affair but that still seems to be relevant in reconciliation.

 

One of my friends (who introduced me to the Other Woman) only learned of Affair after it was finished.

I didn't consider him an enemy of my marriage, as he even warned me that my behavior while separated was reprimendable.

But this friend is a somewhat problematic person. After all, I do not know him so long ago (5 years). He is a man and he has many issues with women.

I would say that he has very strong traits of misogyny. He says things like "all women are whores", "they are all against me."

In fact I think he has serious issues even some pathology. He is 33 years old, never had a girlfriend and he is not gay. There are some deep frustrations there.

 

Since I started Individual Counseling I have felt enormous benefis and personal growth. Just the other day I suggested him to seek help, it could only do good.

 

This guy exploded at me with stuff from my betrayal and all my erratic behavior during separation. He went to say that "I am glad that you are living a fairy tale but life is not so good for everyone".

I ended the conversation there and told him that this was out of line. I did not talk to him anymore.

 

Later, thinking back on that conversation, I realized that only my wife has the right to demand explanations from me.

She was the one that I offended.

The fact that he knows and lashes out at me when I was trying to be friendly with him is an awful sign.

 

After reading "Not Just Friends" and other texts, I am aware of the effects of "outside" influences on Affairs. Those around us are not be accounted as responsible for what we choose to do. But they help in creating an environment where otherwise despicable behaviour becomes more acceptable.

 

I think I need to "unfriend" this guy because he is not a good influence on me and because he is a remaining link with the former Other Woman (until recently he kept telling me stuff about her, I had to demand him to stop it as I wasn't interested in knowing).

 

Am I over-reacting?