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Am I acting completely out of order here? :(


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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  • 1 Post By darkmoon
 
 
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Old 7th November 2012, 11:38 AM   #1
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Am I acting completely out of order here? :(

Hey guys, basically I rented a student accommodation house with 6 other friends last year and one of the girls has been sent letters from gas companies saying they needed large amounts of money as we were in debt to them. Now, the only thing I asked of this friend, was to simply ring the company (as she has the account number & other details) and ask again, how much and what dates is the bill from. (other bills of ours would say June 2010-Jan 2011 for example). She wouldn't do this after me asking politely around 3 times after she was texting me for this money.
So yesterday I took it upon myself to ring the company myself, sat there waiting for someone to answer for 25 minutes to later find out the female on the other end couldn't tell me any details as I didn't have the account number and the fact that my name wasn't on the bill! Now all the other 6 ex-housemates have handed this money over to her, no questions asked. But I wanted to know what it was for, and from which dates thats all. Is this unreasonable? I don't want it to seem like I was doubting my friend, but after asking 3 times and her refusing to do so it did make me suspicious of her. All I wanted to know was if we were paying for when we lived there and not the new tennants who have already lived in there for 5 months! Please, someone be honest with me. The other half says not to give her the money until I get answers but I don't want to be the reason we get involved with debt collectors or anything! Now the other girls who I see often have taken a dislike to me just because I wanted to know what I was paying money for, unreasonable do you think? Or would you take the side with them?
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Old 7th November 2012, 12:00 PM   #2
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She wouldn't do this after me asking politely around 3 times after she was texting me for this money.

look, you want honesty - how smiley were you when you asked? why three times of asking? if i were her i'd feel pissed at being nagged and why did other housemates agree with her? do you see you are out of step?
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Old 7th November 2012, 12:50 PM   #3
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^^^Will's right.

A check is good idea, if there's any chance she's not being honest.


I rented a room from someone in my early twenties--I gave the guy cash, every month, without fail.

None of the money made its way to the landlord, however.
I had the bomb dropped on me that we were getting evicted--I had a whopping week's notice to find a new place to live...I was livid.

The guy I rented from was supposedly a friend, too--part of my social circle, so I was also hurt & disappointed that he hadn't been straightforward with me.

After that experience---I get everything in writing, and expect receipts.
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Old 7th November 2012, 1:39 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
She wouldn't do this after me asking politely around 3 times after she was texting me for this money.

look, you want honesty - how smiley were you when you asked? why three times of asking? if i were her i'd feel pissed at being nagged and why did other housemates agree with her? do you see you are out of step?
Well we did it over text as she would text me saying ''I need the money'' so then I'd ask her about the details of the bill and she would leave it for a couple days then text it again completely ignoring my questions! But I was very friendly, I am not someone who enjoys conflict
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Old 7th November 2012, 1:43 PM   #5
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Jelly Belly you are stuck in a tricky situation, as you've said. If you keep questioning her it is going to look like you do not trust. However, on the other hand she could be taking you all for a ride. How long have you known her? has it just been the 5 months? is she normally a dishonest person? It does make me wonder why she will not show you the bill though. Especially if you all owe back payments. Is she having problems at her job, or has she been fired? you need to think of all of these questions. Also, how much is she asking from you? if it is a small sum of money i'd say fork it over. that way it makes you look good... and ifs he is lying and cheating you all out of money then that falls on her. Or you could give her a check. make a copy of the check, or get a bank to notorize it...something like that, and in the discription area put "gas bill"... or something like that. Give it to her. If down the line you find out she hasnt been paying the bills or was inflating the amount you owed her, then you have legal recours to go after her. you have that check as evidence as well as bank statements etc... however, it still makes you look good in the eyes of the other friends because you gave her the money. Don't give her cash.

I have known the girl for around 2 years now and I would like to class her as a friend, but not a close one. She is asking for around 20 off each of us (the next bill is 40 each!) but if she receives this of all 6 of us thats 120, so that is quite a lot of money yes
Fab idea about the check though! I may do that thanks!
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Old 7th November 2012, 1:46 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by jelly baby View Post
Well we did it over text as she would text me saying ''I need the money'' so then I'd ask her about the details of the bill and she would leave it for a couple days then text it again completely ignoring my questions! But I was very friendly, I am not someone who enjoys conflict
she sounds shady, i agree with freestyle now
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