emeraldcity Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 Hi everybody. Some advice would really be appreciated. I have been trying to get over my first break-up for maybe 8 months now. We were together for a year, friends for about two. I really just believed that we were meant to be together because I could communicate and relate with him on a personal level that I've never had with anybody else. We just clicked and it was so right. We were comfortable with each other and we were best friends. And then one day out of the blue, he decided he had fallen out of love with me and we could no longer be together. He initiated this break-up over email. And that was it, Just like that. How can someone be your world and then suddenly, cease to exist? He just dropped off the planet. Wouldn't respond to my efforts to remain friends, and was over it in a matter of weeks. It seemed so real to me - he said that he loved me and couldn't imagine not being with me. So how is it that he fell out of love? His reasons as stated were; it became too comfortable, he just wanted to be by himself, he felt no desire....etc, etc. We hadn't spoken in about six months until I initiated contact (by email) with him about a month ago. He has since responded with the usual pleasantries - also mentioning that he wished he had done things differently. I replied very casually, I don't really want to talk about the past with him, but he hasn't replied to that and its been about two weeks. I just don't know what happened! Will I ever get over this? Up until now I really believed in one true love, and thought that he was it. I wanted my fairytale ending. Its so hard trying to be happy when the person who you considered a soul-mate has abandoned you. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I too am getting over my first love break up. It's hard, but you have to understand that life goes on and it will get better. Will I ever get over this? If you feel that you cannot get over this by yourself, you should probably look for some help. Counselors, or even friends. Loveshack has helped me drastically; we will be here to listen so feel free to write. Its so hard trying to be happy when the person who you considered a soul-mate has abandoned you. It's hard but it's definitely possible. It's been 8 months, you have to put your past behind you. Believe me I know it's easier said than done. But you have to do this in order to move on with your life. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love another. Link to post Share on other sites
jonathan Posted March 29, 2004 Share Posted March 29, 2004 I have been wondering about hat question for awhile "How can someone be your world and then suddenly, cease to exist?" the only thing that I can say it that it just happenes. It may feel right at the time. but may not feel right later in life. I was with my girl for 5 years. everything felt great. I was happy and everything just felt right, but out of the blue she dumped me. one minute she was in love and the next she fell out of love. it feels that way cause the person who breaks up with someone has time to plan and get over it. the person who was dumped and no time or warning to get over it. if I can tell you anything in life, it is that if you were meant to be together then yous two will find love again. Dont dwell on the past. remember the past but only use it for memories Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted March 30, 2004 Share Posted March 30, 2004 one minute she was in love and the next she fell out of love. I thought the same way. But you really think about it and if you can look back. There are signs, and those signs were leading to a break up. Because you were together so long you thought that it was normal. But, I feel that my ex got tired of all the BS as perhaps yours did too. This is their fault as much as ours. NO COMMUNICATION = NO RELATIONSHIP!(period) Link to post Share on other sites
Qicah Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Been through with that... and I had coped up and I'm sure you will. I had my first bf when I was 13 and at that young age, I was deeply in love with him. We treated each other like bestfriends or siblings. He cared a lot about me as much as I cared a lot about him too. The problem was, we kept our relationship to ourselves. My parents would definitely disagree with me having a relationship. We met in secret. My worst fear happened when we neared our 8th monthsary. My parents discovered our secret and demanded me to break up with him otherwise they would drop me out from school. What can I do? I was then so young to fight for love and so I broke up with him through letter and we never spoke to each other for about a year. I thought that was the end of my life. But eventually, I had recovered from that pain. I just spent more time with my friends and focused on my hobbies. Relationships have flaws. Just be grateful for the time you shared with him coz in that time, he made you happy. And that makes sense. He has touched your life in one way or another. Appreciate all the good things he has done. Consider his happiness. Can you take the idea of having him when he is not happy with you? When he longs for freedom or whatever? Think about it. Hope you are okay now. Wish you the best. You'll get over him in soon. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted April 2, 2004 Share Posted April 2, 2004 Just be grateful for the time you shared with him coz in that time, he made you happy. And that makes sense. He has touched your life in one way or another. Appreciate all the good things he has done. Consider his happiness. You can call me a bad guy, but I totally disagree with this paragraph. Perhaps you did have happiness at one point, but does the pain overwrite the past? Link to post Share on other sites
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