Why are people so needy? (rant)

[Anonymous1338]

2nd year of college and I have 2 roommates. One I don't have any serious issues with, the other one can be very annoying at times.

 

I go to a college where a lot of students are upper class. Come from a family where only one parent works and they make more than enough money to pay the full 50k bill without financial aid and go on vacation round the world whenever they want.

 

I say this because my roommate acts like a spoiled brat so much of the time. He is always talking about other people (gossip) and acts as if he has the right to judge anyone, and he has talked about me when he thinks I can't hear from another room countless times and it's annoying. I'm by definition a loner (though I'm fine with people, I just don't feel the need to be around people all the time) and he pretty much thinks I'm a loser because of it. It also really bothers him that my metabolism is fast (I probably eat 3000 calories a day and stay thin and fit doing nothing and he has dietary issues of every sort) and he always makes fun of me because I choose not to swear under any condition.

 

Other things being, he'll complain that I don't do any chores in the apartment. For example last weekend was my turn to do the dishes but I had 2 exams the following days so I said it could wait a little bit. 30 minutes later he does the dishes himself and then goes on to whine about how he always does the dishes and I don't do anything. Really?

 

If I go out to get dinner for myself, my roommates see it as rude. Why? I'm not sure. Because I didn't ask them to come along? I didn't want company.

 

If I choose not to go to an event with my roommate, he'll whine saying I prevented him from having a good time. Just this weekend he wanted to go out for dinner but I chose to order pizza along with a friend of mine that was coming to study. He didn't voice any objection until my friend left saying that I kept him inside the whole weekend and was really upsetting him.

 

 

For now I've just taken to minimization of contact between that roommate and I. But of course now my roommates think I'm being rude/irritable because I choose to be on my own and not bow down to his requests.

 

 

 

I feel like some people have just been pampered their whole lives that they think they can set a standard on living everyone should follow, and if they don't follow it, that person is obviously a problem. I couldn't care less what anyone else did with their life (outside of people I care for deeply), so I don't know why people are so driven to bother everyone else and not just mind their own business.

 

 

/rant

[Caryopteris]

Next inappropriate rant: "Look, we are roommates. We need to cooperate and be civil, but I am not responsible for your social life. Your needs are different than mine, and you are perfectly capable of making your own friends."

 

This person thinks he can manipulate you and get his own way by complaining about you. He probably knows you can hear him, but he is too chicken to confront you where you can defend yourself to his face.

 

People like this like to have positions of power, but they are miserable to work for. Unless you are willing to constantly make him feel as important as he thinks you should, he is going to be uncomfortable with you and try to "fix" you. Ignore all his criticisms and comments or call him on it, saying, "Not my problem." If he is whining a lot, call him a Nancy. This will drive him absolutely crazy.

 

My boyfriend knows a guy just like this. At times he will cater to him, but I don't know why, other than the fact he owns his own business and has big, fancy toys. When we run into this guy at hockey games, I can tell he HATES me because he thinks I have stolen his friend. But the guy is just not fun to be around. If he were, we'd have him over to the house.

 

 

 

2nd year of college and I have 2 roommates. One I don't have any serious issues with, the other one can be very annoying at times.

 

I go to a college where a lot of students are upper class. Come from a family where only one parent works and they make more than enough money to pay the full 50k bill without financial aid and go on vacation round the world whenever they want.

 

I say this because my roommate acts like a spoiled brat so much of the time. He is always talking about other people (gossip) and acts as if he has the right to judge anyone, and he has talked about me when he thinks I can't hear from another room countless times and it's annoying. I'm by definition a loner (though I'm fine with people, I just don't feel the need to be around people all the time) and he pretty much thinks I'm a loser because of it. It also really bothers him that my metabolism is fast (I probably eat 3000 calories a day and stay thin and fit doing nothing and he has dietary issues of every sort) and he always makes fun of me because I choose not to swear under any condition.

 

Other things being, he'll complain that I don't do any chores in the apartment. For example last weekend was my turn to do the dishes but I had 2 exams the following days so I said it could wait a little bit. 30 minutes later he does the dishes himself and then goes on to whine about how he always does the dishes and I don't do anything. Really?

 

If I go out to get dinner for myself, my roommates see it as rude. Why? I'm not sure. Because I didn't ask them to come along? I didn't want company.

 

If I choose not to go to an event with my roommate, he'll whine saying I prevented him from having a good time. Just this weekend he wanted to go out for dinner but I chose to order pizza along with a friend of mine that was coming to study. He didn't voice any objection until my friend left saying that I kept him inside the whole weekend and was really upsetting him.

 

 

For now I've just taken to minimization of contact between that roommate and I. But of course now my roommates think I'm being rude/irritable because I choose to be on my own and not bow down to his requests.

 

 

 

I feel like some people have just been pampered their whole lives that they think they can set a standard on living everyone should follow, and if they don't follow it, that person is obviously a problem. I couldn't care less what anyone else did with their life (outside of people I care for deeply), so I don't know why people are so driven to bother everyone else and not just mind their own business.

 

 

/rant

[Wolfcub]

Even if your roommate acts like a spoiled brat, he isn't. If he was one he wouldn't need you - a rommate to share expenses. He would have his own apartment. And he would have a paid employee (actually a babysitter) who takes him to dinners and everywhere.

But some people apparently have low dirty dish tolerance. Nothing you can do about it. Is there any chance to change the days one of you is responsible or the dishes?

[heather_1]

I went through similar issues when I was at university (just graduated). Unfortunately you are just going to have to deal with it. If you are happier being in your room or doing things on your own then do it. Who cares what he thinks. Just don't rise to the bait and if he asks why you're in your room just tell him your happy just chilling. If he moans about dishes just tell him your sorry, you do do the dishes but maybe he hasnt seen you do them.

 

Im quite opinionated at times so I would also say if he does really hit a nerve then let rip and show him how he cant get away with treating people like rubbish