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"Friend" has a baby but doesn't tell you - is the friendship worth having?


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Old 16th September 2012, 12:32 AM   #1
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"Friend" has a baby but doesn't tell you - is the friendship worth having?

I was very close friends with a girl in mid-2000 (met her at work) and then we slowly drifted apart after I left that job but still kept in touch. A few years later she moved to another state with her partner and we still kept in touch but once a year. I went and visited her in December 2010 and then she came to my state (not to see me specifically) in early 2011 and we caught up with each other. At the end of 2011, I got in touch with her for work reason and then this year I find out through someone else that she has had a baby! Is this friendship worth holding on to? I was thinking of saying "Congrats" to her and partner but I'm upset that she didn't even have the heart to tell me she had a baby or even that she was pregnant. Hmmmm....what would you do?
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Old 16th September 2012, 12:37 AM   #2
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sounds like she sees your friendship more as a casual one than a close one at this point in her life. Be the bigger man and send a congratulatory note.
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Old 16th September 2012, 3:29 AM   #3
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her partner might have objected to your friendship leading to the situation you are in, and partners like hers, inscure ones, post here on LS often feeling betrayed or insecure or even angry - she was loyal to her partner, but send a card, though i don't think you can expect an automatic response, some friendships go cold for a while, reviving again later

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Old 16th September 2012, 5:38 PM   #4
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Yea Quankanne is right. She doesnt consider u as a close friend. I personally don't do well with casual friendships. I like to feel as if I am worth more than that to someone. If you can accept a "casual" friendship then keep it. If you really want to be close to this person I'd send her a congrats.. lol casual.. i wouldnt send a damn thing since she didnt want to include me.. but thats my bitter side talking..
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Old 18th September 2012, 10:28 AM   #5
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Thank you all for your advice
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Old 18th September 2012, 4:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by petal28 View Post
I was very close friends with a girl in mid-2000 (met her at work) and then we slowly drifted apart after I left that job but still kept in touch. A few years later she moved to another state with her partner and we still kept in touch but once a year. I went and visited her in December 2010 and then she came to my state (not to see me specifically) in early 2011 and we caught up with each other. At the end of 2011, I got in touch with her for work reason and then this year I find out through someone else that she has had a baby! Is this friendship worth holding on to? I was thinking of saying "Congrats" to her and partner but I'm upset that she didn't even have the heart to tell me she had a baby or even that she was pregnant. Hmmmm....what would you do?
You two are not close anymore, not in eachothers daily lives. She didn't put much thought into it (did you try to keep in touch with her more than once a year? Sounds like you didn't and she didn't) because now you're a distant friend.
Instead of being upset by it, be happy for her and wish her well.

I wouldn't 'end' the friendship. Just know that she is not close to you and you to her anymore. It's a casual friendship now.. Unless you (both) make more effort to renew it and get closer.
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